I have done the unthinkable as a parent to a teen. I walked into my son’s bedroom without knocking on the door – and got an eyeful of a solo activity both of us will not soon forget. Now my son is hiding from me and I, if I’m being completely honest, am also hiding from him. My husband thinks we are both ridiculous and should just forget about it. What should I do?
Censor This Scene
Dear Censor This Scene,
There is never a dull moment in the life of a Miniature Human or the Hominid Wranglers who are tasked with raising them. I would suggest that you begin to problem solve by guzzling a bottle of sour grapes, but I am guessing you have already done so.
It would explain why your original letter to me had so many typos.
Now that the sour grapes headache has worn off, you’re feeling mortified by what you saw. I can’t say that I blame you. As a canine, I am all too familiar with walking in on a loved one during any number of private times – from showering to toilet times, and even the occasional ‘nap’ in the middle of the day. While I do not embarrass easily, the humans in my household seem agitated by my intrusions and usually ask me to leave.
I honor the request by staring at them until they become uncomfortable.
Since your situation involves two humans, we’re going to deploy a solution that avoids all eye contact. Find a funny GIF to commemorate this moment and send it via text message. A meme would work just as well, especially if it incorporates your Miniature Human’s favorite television show. Then whenever he watches that show, he’ll be reminded of the awkward time his mom caught him polishing the old banister in his bedroom. By discouraging future acts, you’ll never have to worry about opening a door in your house.
This solution may require future therapy bills, but that’s the future’s problem to solve!
The responsible (and more difficult) solution is to talk with your Miniature Human. He’s embarrassed, you’re embarrassed, but that’s the way life works for the human species. Admit that you were in the wrong not to knock on his door before entering and assure him that you will do so in the future. Then sit back and see what your Mini Human does next. He may have questions – you should answer them. He may shuffle off without another word – you should let him go. Let him have his dignity because the world will take enough of that from him as he gets older. Colonoscopies sound like a terrifying reward for living past 40!
You should also consider wearing a bell so people can hear you approaching.
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