My marriage is in trouble and I need your help! Lately my husband has become obsessed with superheroes. It started out innocently enough, with comics and movies. Then it gradually progressed to comic conventions and costumes, some of which cost more money than a college degree. This week the final nail went into the proverbial coffin – my husband wore his batman costume to sleep. When I questioned why he would do so, he was very quick to reply that it’s easier to respond to a crisis if he’s already dressed for the situation. I asked him to take off the costume and he said he didn’t want to, it made him happy.
I want my husband to be happy but this is ridiculous!
Batman in Bed
Dear Batman in Bed,
I’m going to venture out onto a limb here when I say that you don’t have much of an imagination. Women everywhere are trying to get a superhero in the bedroom, and here you have one – and it’s not even the crappy Ben Affleck version! Instead of rejoicing in this moment, you want the superhero to turn back into a pumpkin…
As a canine who enjoys dressing up in various costumes, I think you need to embrace the fun. Watch a superhero movie while wearing a costume, maybe you’ll begin to see what makes your husband so deliriously happy. I find Jurassic Park to be 100 times more powerful when I am wearing my Triceratops costume.
I wanted to be a Velociraptor, but I’m too clumsy.
If you embrace the costumes during movie night and are left without a thrill, maybe you need to take it a step further. Put on a costume and head to a convention with your husband. At the very worst, you’ll have stood in lines all day for no reason. You never know though when Henry Cavill will show up and surprise fans with a meet and greet.
Superman is the best of all the superheroes.
If all of that fails to inspire you to embrace the comic lifestyle, than we only have one final solution, and it isn’t a lobotomy for your husband because that isn’t a socially acceptable solution to a wife’s problems… no matter how much you may want to do it.
I suggest you give Batman the boot and invite Superman to the bedroom.
Ummmm, can you stop drooling on your keyboard as you daydream?! I meant have your husband dress up in a different costume! Now go wipe your face and get it together woman, or shall I call you Wonder Woman?
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