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Dear Lola,

My wife and I are having a long-lasting argument over which superhero is the best of them all. I love Batman but she’s adamant that Superman is much better. I think Batman’s gadgets are awesome and that alone makes him better than everyone else. Can you please give me your opinion so I can leverage it against my wife during our next debate?

Man or Man 

Dear Lola

Dear Man or Man,

You’ve just found yourself in a mighty fine predicament. You’ve written me a letter for help, convinced of your own argument’s superiority. Never once did your mind consider that I would not agree with your viewpoint, and now you’ll lose standing with your wife as she uses this response against you.

Superman is better than Batman.

Let’s think about your argument for a minute. You like Batman because he has cool gadgets. I believe a Mr. James Bond has cool gadgets and he isn’t a superhero. He’s just a dude in a nice tuxedo. Batman is a dude dressed up like a nocturnal mammal who’s practically blind. Do you think a blind superhero is better than the god of all superheroes?!

Superman could utilize gadgets, rendering your Batman argument moot.

Frankly, if you’re going to try to challenge Superman’s title as Most Awesome Superhero because of gadgets, you should have chosen Iron Man. At least your wife could respect that argument. Iron Man has money, just like Batman. He has gadgets, just like Batman. Iron Man has a robot assistant, Batman has a butler who assists him.

Robots are always the better choice.

I propose that you finally come to the conclusion that Batman is not the best superhero, he is not even in the top ten. Frankly, you need to switch to arguing that Wonder Woman is the best. One, because women are awesome. Two, because she’s the equivalent to Superman in many ways – she may not be able to fly but she can sure as hell jump high. Three, she’s a woman and your wife would probably find it slightly disturbing to argue against her own gender being the best.

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