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Dear Lola,

Why do my humans wash the floor right when I’m trying to come in from the garden? I’ve talked to my human about this, but she repeatedly ignores me. Sometimes she even blames me for the paw prints all over the house. I say she only has herself to blame for sloshing water all over the place while excusing it as “cleaning.” She must be made to understand that guarding the garden from forest creatures is more important than a home free of speckles.

Sincerely,
Dependable Dottie

Dear Lola

Dear Dependable Dottie,

Can you hear the round of applause from your fellow canine? Of course not, I can’t clap my paws. Nevertheless, I feel the pain of your plight. What canine hasn’t had to listen to a human blather on about their clean floor at some point?! Humans seem to think all this rabbit chasing we do is for fun, not the first step of a good defense from creatures intent on harming our homes.

Dottie, I’m going to give it to you straight – your human will never understand.

Therefore, I recommend you deploy the Cutest Face in the World tactic. Any time your human begins a lecture about flooring, puddles, paw prints, or anything of that nature, use your big eyes. Stare at your human intently, making your eyes grow slightly bigger with each passing second. Add a hesitant tail wiggle, just a minuscule twitch, before hitting them with the final punch. Make your eyes water. You can do it Dottie, think about that bone you lost and the waterworks should start up on demand.

Your human will apologize for their irrational behavior and give you a belly rub.

♥Lola♥

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