We have had some excitement here in my area of Washington State. Two days ago we had an earthquake. Now, generally we don’t get squirrely about earthquakes in this area because we get tiny rumbles every so often. However, in the five years I’ve lived here, I’ve never felt a rumble at all. Sure, the news tells me it happened after the fact, but I didn’t actually know it was happening at the time. This was not the case this week.

It all started during TV time with Lola and Hubster. Everyone was snacking and enjoying life to its fullest. And then a ghastly event began to unfold. We felt what we thought was a big truck humming by our house. But the big truck jiggly feeling increased until we were leaning forward and looking about us with a “DO WE RUN OR DIE HERE” look on our faces. Luckily, before Lola and I could completely devolved into a panic, we were distracted by a dull groaning noise.

It wasn’t Hubster. He was sitting calmly next to us as Lola and I worked ourselves into a frenzy. We were ready to pack our go gear and evacuate to new lands.

The groaning noise sounded like the Earth was opening up to swallow us whole. Hubster claimed I was hearing the curio cabinet right next to me as it rattled away. But to that I say NO! I heard that rattling noise, and it was distinctly different from the groaning – not to mention one sound came from the left and one came from the right. Hubster may say I’m crazy, but even Lola whipped her head from the curio cabinet rattle to the other side of the house at the same time I did and began to ferociously bark a warning.

I may be partially deaf, but the dog backs up that my hearing did not fail me this time.

As Lola frantically barked and growled to warn the Earth not to fuck with her family, it all stopped. I immediately set out to see if the Earth had opened up a chasm into another realm right in my front yard. Which would be unfortunate since my septic tank is there. If there was a portal into another realm though, I had serious decisions to make. Like should I pack Twinkies before Lola and I stepped into another realm, just in case they didn’t have those on the other side.

A survival strategy outlining the plan

A note from your fearless author: If you aren’t following me on any of my social media accounts, you really should. I decided the only way to plan my Earthquake Survival Strategy was to watch San Andreas starring The Rock. I live streamed all my witty humor as I tried to learn how I was to survive if the big earthquake hits. Though I feel like the movie didn’t prepare me for one big roadblock in my survival plan – I live between two volcanoes and scientists have said when the big quake hits, both volcanoes will erupt. So if Mount Saint Helens and Mount Hood could please hold it together, The Rock says I’ll need about 2 hours to survive the Earthquake Apocalypse.


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much

17 replies on “The Earthquake Survival Strategy…

  1. I went to grad school in Vancouver, BC and still remember feeling my 7th floor apartment SWAY once when an earthquake hit Washington state. It was crazy! If only the Rock would drive his speedboat up to my apt and save me. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Urgh terrifying! I’ve only once experienced an eathquake and it was only a mini one – just lots of rattling cabinets. My parents who were in the house with me at the time but downstairs thought I was making it up until it was confirmed on the news that evening! Haha. I’d hate to be in a proper one, though. #dreamteam

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My geography teacher had a favourite expression about earthquakes! If you’re ever in an eartquake stand in a door way put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye 😂 so technically you were calmer than him!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Omg, that’s both utterly frightening and yet hilarious in the way that you have written it. Did you ever find out what the groaning noise was? Too bad I missed the live tips, love that movie 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing with the #dreamteam xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I did not find out what the groaning was, I’ve developed a theory that my house is a portal to the center of the universe and I just cautiously avoid walking around the yard!! I’m thinking about doing a once a month movie where I live tweet as I watch it. That way I can put out the time and people can watch it at their home and join in. I’m still working out details because so many of my followers are based in the UK so I need to pick a time that would work since I’m in the US.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Well thank you! And thanks to the American mind that knows more is always better, I now have in my freezer a lovely box of deep-fried Twinkies! All you do is stick them in the oven for five minutes and they come out delicious! At least I hope so, I’m taste testing them this weekend and I will post a video, or write a blog, or both.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Sorry to sound dumb but what are twinkles? I feel I should know this before I go adding them to my survival kit. This post is really but kind of scary for you that you live so close to 2 volcanoes in a place prone to earthquakes..eep! Thanks for linking up with us #BlogCrush xx

    Liked by 1 person

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