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I haven’t written a blog post in a few days. I’d like to say I was working very hard on them, but that would be a lie. I was playing internet based games and snacking on potato chips while my brain protested any sort of labor. I also watched a lot of SyFy original movies involving winter storms with ghosts and electrical wiring that wasn’t up to code. That last part might have actually been the HGTV home renovation shows that I was watching until Hubster made me turn it off so I would stop trying to convince him to remodel our bathrooms.

Apparently, I have to actually earn money if I want to spend it…

Last night I made some critical decisions regarding my future. I have finally, finally, decided on a topic for my book. Finally. The Hubster actually cracked a smile and felt a little ray of hope that his starving artist wife might have a direction in life. I know what you’re thinking, hasn’t she been writing a book for over a year now?! Yes, you are correct. However, I was just writing stuff down. Life stories, funny happenings,  and things that enraged me, causing me to become the person that I am today. It was 14 books all mixing into one incoherent jumble.

Apparently, that’s not acceptable to most readers.

I’ve picked out a few tentative titles and I’m going to put sticky notes all over my writing command center (otherwise known as two iMacs sitting side by side) that remind me to stick to the subject I have chosen. Which is already making me want to stick a pencil in my ear and swirl. Sticking to a subject is not something I excel at. Anyone who’s had a conversation with me knows it changes from the best toilet paper brand to alien life on Mars without even a breath in between.

I’m not going to tell you what the book’s subject is yet because I don’t want you to decide to not buy my book. In fact, I may just sell a book with no title and a black cover. It will have a random picture that will pique your curiosity so much that you have to buy it just to see what’s happening inside.

And look at that, not only do I have my book subject down firmly, I have my marketing plan in place!

A text box describing the Tragic Life of a Writer. It reads 'Wake up with brain bursting with ideas. Sit at computer and bang on keyboard. Stare at screen dejectedly while furiously hitting the delete button. Eat lunch at desk. Hold down delete button while chewing. Lay head on keyboard and take a nap. Resume keyboard banging after cleaning up drool. Repeat until book is finished or someone finds your mummified body.'

Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much