I made a critical error when ordering my Girl Scout cookies this year. Each year I order cookies just after eating a large, usually pasta centric, meal. The mighty belly is satiated and I can think with the rational side of my brain when calculating just how many boxes I need to order in January to last the entire year. Because as you all know, if you run out of cookies before the year ends, those Girl Scouts are nowhere to be found and you resort to buying cookies off your friends and it ends up costing more than cocaine.

I myself have purchased a $3.50 box of cookies in January and resold them to a strung out, hangry friend in November for a cool $20. With the current cost up to $5 a box in January, shit’s going to get real if I exhaust my supply and have to buy them on the street in July.

Back to that critical error. I decided to order online this year from a an adorably curly-haired little lady who had dreams that needed fulfilling. The only way to ensure she didn’t become a resentful, bitter adult with evil in her soul, was to ensure her dreams came true as a child. I bought cookies. A lot of cookies. So many boxes of cookies. Did I mention I was also hungry when ordering?! So there I was, trying to abort an evil tyrant in the making, while viciously hungry and waiting for the Hubster to come home for dinner.

It was a terrible combination of fear and hunger that drove me to spend so much money.

Since the Hubster and I are on a strict we bought a house and now something awful will happen that costs us thousands of dollars and a kidney budget, we have to find a way to cover that cookie bill without using our emergency money. I consider a budding evil dictator in need of pacifying an emergency, but Hubster disagrees. And because murdering Hubster is frowned upon by polite society, I have to go with my option two – find a place in the budget to pay for these cookies. So many boxes of cookies.

I’ve turned to the only section of the budget that makes sense, considering Lola’s section is already hiding my pedicures and the clothing section disguises any shopping sprees that my frugal it’s on sale! brain cannot resist (Amazon, I’m looking at you). I’m going to pay for the cookies out of our grocery section. The section that is almost always over budget thanks to my Twinkie and Coke Zero habit. Sure, it means we can’t eat meat for two months or even think about popping a shrimp in our mouth for the entire fiscal year, but it will all be worth it when we’re having Tagalongs for dinner in December…


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Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much

40 replies on “The true cost of childhood…

          1. They’ve been updating our stores and I’m wondering if that’s another technical problem I need to get them to resolve. I’ll definitely look into it! They just did a few huge major updates to improve my side of the store but unfortunately there’s always glitches with an update.

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  1. This is so funny! I remember girl scout cookies being an integral part of all american culture from the knowledge I gained purely from watching sitcoms religiously as a teen! Are they really that good though? And do store cookies not match up at all? Thanks for joining us at the #bigpinklink

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Store cookies just don’t match up. The Keebler company partnered with Girl Scouts to create ones you can buy year round, but they are not the same cookie. They could only get so close to the thing we all love.

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  2. This was too funny!

    I’ve seen a few recipes floating around online that claim to taste the same as Girl Scout cookies. I’d like to think that they’re what people resort to once they run out of the real thing. Haha.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve tried those recipes, nothing replaces the real thing. I even did a blind taste test and everybody could guess which was which. And I’m a fantastic baker, people have paid me to make their wedding cakes.

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    1. I’m sorry I didn’t respond sooner, this comment was in my spam folder too! I think I’ve adjusted my settings so you don’t go there in the future, I hope I did. These cookies are a huge deal in the US, they are only available once a year and there is nothing else like them on the market. This year they introduced a few gluten-free flavors that sold out within a week.

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  3. A friend of mine’s daughter fills up her entire garage with preorders, and she receives different prizes, like American girl dolls, depending on how much she sells. Effectively teaching capitalism to little girls, I guess. 🙂 Frozen thin mints all the way! #dreamteam

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s a difficult wait, isn’t it?! That month between ordering and receiving just seems so brutally long and then when they say they ordered extra cookies in case you want more you just get so excited and immediately say yes!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Haha! That was hilarious 🙂 We don’t get girl scout cookies here, but I am sure if we did, I would be considering the same. How many boxes did you actually buy? They must be THAT good. Thanks so much for sharing with the #DreamTeam xx

    Liked by 1 person

        1. They are!!! There is just nothing else like it on the market, we Americans look forward to these things every year! February is the best month because that’s when our precious cookies get delivered to our doorstep.

          Liked by 1 person

  5. I never got the girl scout cookies thing as I think it’s an American thing (and I was never a Brownie which is the Brit version of scouts)? Of course, just putting it out there…have you considered em [whispers in hushed tones] campaigning for those pesky scouts to replace unhealthy sugar-laden cookies with yummy energy balls? You could corner the market… #candidcuddles

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They tried to make a gluten-free healthy option this year that was reduce sugar… They pulled it off the market because people were complaining. I don’t think Americans who eat cookies are ready for healthy options yet!

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  6. This makes me strangely happy that girl scout cookies aren’t a ‘thing’ here! I dread to think how much I would end up spending on them! x #CandidCuddles

    Liked by 1 person

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