Well I’ve done it! I’ve beaten (or eaten) my way through a two-week slump where there were virtually NO funny ideas coming out of my head. I just woke up each morning at a reasonable hour, thought mundane things that made no one laugh, and then went to bed promptly at 10 each night. Hubster has a boring day job and we live like we’re 90 years old.

But not anymore!

For the past two days I’ve worked hard to wreck this whole routine so that my brain could regain its fabulous sense of humor, complete with twisted ideas on what is considered fun in polite society. (You’ll hear more about that later.) First, I stayed up two nights in a row until I saw the sky start to turn blue again. When my eyes were blurry and burning, I would tuck myself into bed and not awaken until lunch time. Second, I ate a lot of pizza rolls. I mean a lot. Normally it only takes a nachos and a burrito from Taco Bell to get my creative ideas flowing, but pizza rolls don’t have the same magical power as Taco Bell cheese so I improvised.

I ate hundreds of pizza rolls over the course of two days!

I’d like to say that’s an exaggeration, but I buy them at Costco and more than one box was consumed. Every time I started to get jittery and twitch, I’d pop a pizza bite into my mouth.

My creativity is back baby! My stomach is slightly off-balance and I feel exhausted just thinking about moving from any position, but none of that matters. All that counts is that my humor has returned. (How long do you think it will be until I can stand without wobbling again?! Nevermind, not important!)

Now, I’m off to write more posts while my body recovers from the 26 foot walk to the computer from the couch. And just so you know, there is a right way to eat a pizza roll and I will share it in another post. FYI, it takes 6 bites. I KNOW! Just blew your mind when all your life you’ve been popping them in your mouth whole and chewing.

Like an animal.

The teeny tiny pizza roll has mystical powers that transform me from Boring Person on Couch to Funny Writer on Internet. All hail the pizza roll!


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much

 

13 replies on “Many pizza rolls were harmed in the making of this blog…

    1. It is not too late to save you! A pizza roll is a small square bite size piece of dough with sauce and pizza fillings stuffed into it. You’re supposed to just pop them in your mouth, but anybody who is a pizza roll connoisseur knows that you must take small bites out of them so you get the full essence of flavor 😆

      Liked by 1 person

  1. You are hil-ar-ious! I didn’t say hilarious slowly, I was taking breaths in between- because I can barely get words out I’m still laughing so much.
    I just discovered I eat pizza rolls like an animal appparently. Now that I learned I am a savage beast, I need to learn the 6 bite program.

    Thanks for the laughs!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! Sometimes I wonder if people find my blog humorous because my closest friends don’t typically read it. But then I get comments like these and it motivates me to keep writing.

      Like

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