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Everyone has the key to a successful marriage. Whether or not that key actually works for a marriage is another story. My favorite “key to marriage” trope is compromise. Everyone touts compromise like it’s the second coming of Christ and your marriage will be peaceful and harmonious if you participate in it.

That’s not exactly true, is it?

Let’s face it, compromise is a big pile of loser mixed with the bitter taste of failure. It ends in a bowl full of “no one wants it” and no one really feels like a winner. You just feel like not as big a loser.

I would like to give you the flip side to this advice. Fight. Fight hard, fight long, fight loudly. Someone will come out the winner, someone will come out the loser. But at least you won’t be sitting on the couch at the end wondering why you both feel like losers.

a text graphic that says 'Compromise. The participation trophy for adults.'

It’s like those sports kids play where there is no scoring – everyone is a winner and no one is a winner. Who wants to feel like that?!

Writer’s note: In the interest of not seeing every single one of my friends’ marriages end in divorce, I think it should be said that this post contains a lot of sarcasm. Hubster and I do compromise…we take turns winning the fight. 


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