Dear Lola, Why do my humans wash the floor right when I’m trying to come in from the garden? I’ve talked to my human about this, but she repeatedly ignores me. Sometimes she even blames me for the paw prints all over the house. I say she only has herself to blame for sloshing water…

Dear Lola, My child is driving me absolutely insane. We are attempting to potty train him, but the amount of puddles I am finding on the floor is beginning to make me doubt my worth as a parent. He is my first-born so I have never tackled this problem before. Can you give me any tips on how…

Dear Lola, I recently witnessed a Twitter conversation debating the differences between shrimp and prawns. Before we go any further, I feel I should disclose that your Mommybeast was the leader of this pondering. I hope she doesn’t retaliate against you should you arrive at a different conclusion than she did. Now that we’ve addressed that,…

Dear Lola, Why do restaurants give you silverware when you order a delivery of food? In light of the excessive amount of plastic filling our oceans, it would be better for them to ask if the customer needs utensils. If saving the planet from death isn’t enough motivation, surely restaurants realize how much money they…

Dear Lola, I’ve often thought about a career change because I deplore my current profession. Since I want my job to be exciting and pay well, I’ve determined that becoming a ninja is the best course of action. I do need your advice on one aspect of the job, regarding payment. When hiring out my services,…

Dear Lola, Why do people use the phrase ‘sleep like a baby’ when they are wishing someone a good rest? I’ve never known any babies to be particularly great sleepers. They fight falling asleep, wake up in the middle of the night for a wee and a feed, and have trouble staying asleep if the environment around…

Dear Lola, I love my husband, but he has one terrible fault that makes me want to lash out at him like a shrieking harpy. He has this insane need to be proven right all the time – and then he gloats for weeks about his intellectual prowess. It has gotten so bad that I found myself…

Dear Lola, How come toasters get hot enough to burn? Every morning I put toast into my toaster and, despite my best efforts each day to lower the cook time, I end up with a burnt piece of bread with which to start my day. I just don’t get it, are the people who make…

Dear Lola, Why do we refer to actors starring “in” a movie versus starring “on” TV? Wouldn’t the same verbage apply to both scenarios? I know this doesn’t seem like a pressing world issue, but it has been weighing on my mind for a few weeks now. If I keep thinking about it for much longer, my wife…

Dear Lola, I recently moved from the US to the UK and am perplexed by clothing. Women’s clothing sizes are vastly different to what I am used to. I thought it was just another thing that my husband and I would have to adapt to, but that’s not the case at all! Men’s clothing is…