My daughter, who is six, asked to cut her hair. Without giving it much thought I replied that she could cut it any way she liked. A few hours later, she emerged from her room having cut her own hair. I shouted in shock and horror because she had cut one side only and it was up to her ear. The other side was almost down to her butt. I told my daughter that we would need to get it fixed at the salon and she began to cry, saying I told her she could cut her hair any way she liked. She then threw a tantrum in the salon that afternoon and the workers refused to cut her hair properly and cause her further distress. Lola, I am horrified. I cannot simply let her walk around with hair like this as I’ve already received a few rude comments from people. What should I do to fix this hair blunder?
Dear Horrible Hair,
There’s an old saying about not throwing out the baby with the bathwater that I think may apply here. For those unfamiliar with this saying, allow me to explain. It is a cautionary tale about taking care to not throw away something good in an effort to get rid of something terrible. For example, you wouldn’t want to throw away an entire tub of Neapolitan ice cream just because you do not like vanilla. Instead, you would eat the chocolate and the strawberry, throwing the tub out when you are left with only vanilla. Whew, what a tangent I took you all on! I mentioned ice cream and it’s hard to stop thinking about it once I get started. Now, let’s get back to the bathwater and the baby before the little guy expires.
You’ll obviously need to trade your current Miniature Human in for a better behaved model.
I know it seems excessively harsh, yet I see no other way to proceed forward. Your Miniature Human asked you if she could cut her hair. You gave her an answer in the affirmative without qualifying the answer to include the details of when and where you would go in order to get the haircut. Your Miniature Human then went into her room and did exactly what you approved her to do – cut her hair any way she liked it. Your response was to shout in shock and horror.
Rather reasonable considering your Miniature Human now looks like a villain from the Batman comics.
However, this is where you went off the rails. Instead of calming down and reassuring your Miniature Human that the miscommunication was not her fault, you decided to cause further distress. Marching your Miniature Human down to the salon, you proceeded to try to forcibly cut her hair in a style that was not of her choosing. While many parents pick out haircuts for their Miniature Humans, it isn’t usually done while they are in distress and just mere hours after you gave her the go ahead to cut her hair any way she liked.
Obviously any way meant only a style that you approved of.
Thankfully, there are some people who evaluated the situation and reacted with calmer heads. The salon staff decided to refuse their services in light of the fact that you were in a heightened state of emotion and your Miniature Human was in a clear state of agitation. Nothing good could have resulted from the salon staff taking a pair of highly sharpened scissors to your flailing Miniature Human’s head.
Unless you think the potential loss of an ear is acceptable.
Talk about becoming a Batman villain – I am pretty sure the second step is to lose an appendage! Now the question becomes, what do you do next? Firstly, stop worrying about the rude comments from random people. The only important person to worry about is your Miniature Human. Reassure her that she didn’t do anything wrong. Explain you had a miscommunication that resulted in a less than ideal hairstyle. Then, talk about going to the salon to speak with professional stylists about what her options are for achieving a more polished final cut. And please for the love of cheese, do not tell your Miniature Human that you will have the salon fix her hair!
Your Miniature Human views her new hair as perfection and not in need of fixing.
Oh, and try to remember that hair grows every single day and no cut is permanent. I have a feeling your fashion forward Miniature Human will find many more adventurous hairstyles before she reaches adulthood. Nurture her need to express her own style and she just may respect the times when you ask her to rethink one of her kookier ideas.
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