Dear Lola,

I have a close friend who is newly divorced. Last week I found out she was texting my husband to ask him to do some work around her house. I was disturbed by her flirty tone and the way she was speaking to my husband – using deliberately enticing language with a double meaning. My husband said he was uncomfortable with the messages and stopped responding to her. When I met her for lunch to talk about this issue, my friend insisted it was all in fun and she meant nothing by it. She brushed off all of my concerns and did not once apologize. Should I take her at face value and remain friends or end this relationship?


Furious Friend

Dear Furious Friend,

Yikes! Sometimes it only takes a single word to sum up a situation and I think the one I’ve selected is perfect. You are in a nightmare scenario that most married humans fear the most. A newly single friend making the moves on her best friend’s spouse is what every straight to cable movie about a marriage gone wrong has warned us about.

Luckily, your spouse didn’t fall into the trap set out by the ravenous black widow.

Now that the entire plot line has been thrown into disarray, it’s up to me to sort out the next scene in your melodrama.

Maybe I’ll write the next great screenplay and win an Emmy.

Surely you know the answer to your question deep down in your gut. I suspect you just want an unbiased opinion to make the final determination before you drop a grenade into the middle of what WAS once a close friendship. I am using the word WAS in all caps to make my point clearer than a cloudless sky on a sunny summer day.

Yep, I’m definitely winning an Emmy for my work.

Well, rest assured that your gut instinct was correct and this friendship is not salvageable.

Your friend threw the first grenade but you’re too shocked to realize it.

If you’re honest with yourself, you will likely never trust your friend again. You are also putting your spouse in the terrible position of being uncomfortable any time she is in the vicinity. If she had shown even a single ounce of remorse for her actions, there may have been hope. Unfortunately, she doubled down on defending her behavior, doing such a great job with her skills of persuasion that you had to write in to a canine just to see if you were the one in the wrong.

Cut this frenemy loose and find someone who won’t gawk at your husband’s goodies.


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