Dear Lola – Daughter won’t accept reality…

Dear Lola,

My young daughter hit me with a tough question today. Despite all of my best answers, gleaned from the depths of the internet, my daughter insists they all sound implausible. Lola, you are my last hope to answer my daughter without looking like a fool. How does the stick of graphite get inside the middle of a wooden pencil?

Sincerely,

Pencil Predicament

Dear Pencil Predicament,

In order to best prepare myself to deliver a response, I decided to first take a look at what results you may have gotten when you searched the internet. After the third website, I am in complete agreement with your Miniature Human.

None of those websites can possibly be accurate!

Imagine a company attempting to convince us that pencils are made from sanwhiches of wood with a layer of graphite in between, all held together with glue. Impossible! Then they try to further sell us on this fantastical method by detailing how they sand the pencils into their desired shape before painting them in adorable patterns and prints.

It is pure poppycock and your Miniature Human was right to reject it.

Obviously, pencils are made from wood – that is the one truth these pencil producers are willing to admit. Do you know what is also made from wood? A magic wand! I think you can see where I am going with this… but just in case your adult brain is bent on believing whatever lies the big companies dish out, I will spell it out.

Pencils are made by wizards.

At the dawn of time, wizards were revered for their potions and spells. Humans flocked to them in droves in an effort to have a happier and healthier life. As millennia passed, wizards and their magic became a whisper amongst the humans. Eventually, magic was regarded as pure fantasy created by the less stable minds of society. Wizards were left with a lot of time and very little with which to occupy it. A very dangerous scenario considering they dabble in potions. Since the wizards had an abundance of wood in order to create their wands, the natural solution was to produce a pencil.

It was the wizarding world’s last attempt to reach the humans.

Luckily, it worked! Pencils have enabled thousands of writers throughout time to write fantastical stories about men and mage. While most read these stories and label them fiction, the truly enlightened applaud them for the truths they hold. The wizards are appeased by these efforts and graciously allow the humans to continue to live for another day. Which leads me to a very distressing thought.

How will the wizards react to the digital pencil era?!

♥Lola♥

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