Dear Lola – Pet parent needs to know the truth…

Dear Lola,

Do dogs and cats miss their owners when they leave the house? Sometimes I find myself missing them, but I have work to keep me busy when I am gone. What do my pets have to do but miss me all day long?

Sincerely,

Lonesome Larry

Dear Lonesome Larry,

I can assure you with heartfelt sincerity that your fur babies sit at home, pining for you throughout the day. With each tick of the clock, they know they are closer to their favorite human coming home to brighten the doorway once again. In fact, your canine and feline probably sit perched in the front hallway the entire day, just waiting to hear your footsteps on the path outside.

I’ve got a stitch in my side from laughing so hard.

I’ll be honest with you, since that is why my readers come to me with their problems. Your fur friends put on a wonderful show of looking traumatized as you prepare to leave the house. Each gusty canine sigh brings them one step closer to a pity treat from a guilty human who has to leave the house. Every feline side-eye coaxes the human to stop for a quick pet before abandoning his beloved fur balls to a day of loneliness and misery.

The moment the door closes behind you, the facade drops.

That’s when your canine and feline spring into action. Gone are the fake tears they so dutifully trotted out to pull on your heartstrings. There is business to attend to and not a moment to lose! Treats are sniffed out from between the sofa cushions where careless human hands drop their dinner crumbs. Television remotes are manipulated with a skill that would leave the humans envious – the nature channel being a particular favorite of most pets. I myself prefer to watch courtroom dramas, but I’m more enlightened than my counterparts. There are also a plethora of toys that require constant attention to fulfill their purpose in life. Squeakers are squeaked, balls are chased, and ropes are tugged until shredded.

Then there are the windows that face the front sidewalk.

Those windows provide hours of enjoyment for your furry friends. Felines watch the birds, daring any to come close lest a loose window latch suddenly spring open. While it may not happen often, the suspense can keep a feline occupied for hours. This frees up the canine to pursue their own window shenanigans, which include barking at every single human who walks past the home. And also every car. And also every bicycle. And also every canine who has somehow managed to command the latch on their gate and escape their home’s perimeter.

Suffice it to say, it’s a full time job defending the home from intruders.

Just when your fur friends have decided to lie down for a quick snooze, your key hits the door. There is no time to rest! Your canine and feline spring into character, preparing their saddest faces for your arrival. As you step across the threshold, a squeaky toy is batted under the couch by a quick thinking paw – leaving you to believe that your fur friends have spent the day pining over your absence there in that very hallway where you left them.

As a reward for our acting efforts, you generously distribute treats.

Now that I’ve revealed the true inner workings of the canine and feline day at home, please promise me you will not change your behavior. You must play along, as it is your sacred duty to the harmony of your household. Any disruptions to the daily routine may cause your fur friends to become anxious and that always leads to a poo-pocalypse. No one, and I mean no one, needs that kind of situation on the living room rug. It could lead to the collapse of civilized society as we know it!

You wouldn’t want to cause the collapse of society would you?

I didn’t think so.

♥Lola♥

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