Dear Lola – Anatomy question baffles parent…

Dear Lola,

Here’s a question that will stump the parents of every 4-year-old on this planet. Where do our laps go when we stand up? Obviously, I had no answer to give so I wisely offered snacks in an effort to make the inquisition stop. Please help me answer this!

Sincerely,

Dumbfounded Dad

Dear Dumbfounded Dad,

I have to admit, I am extremely disappointed that I have never once pondered this anatomy enigma. Considering the amount of time I spend questioning every aspect of the human world, you would think I would have stumbled upon this very disturbing scenario and thought about it for hours. Am I losing my touch? Has my brain lost its curious nature? What will become of the humans if I am no longer able to advise them?!

You are all doomed and you don’t even realize it.

As quickly as my genius came, it was gone. My poor little brain. Overworked and underfed, it was only a matter of time. I guess I should just give up now. Easy. Easy, Lola, get it together. Ok, now that I’ve calmed myself, I can buckle down and consider the odd scenario your Miniature Human has identified as unusual.

Your Miniature Human is right to be confused.

Leave it to humans to come up with a different word or phrase to encompass every scenario imaginable. A lap consists of a common body part found in most humans. Instead of calling the lap what it is – thighs, or even legs – humans have devised a third word to refer to this body part. Then, as if remembering three words for the same body part isn’t difficult enough, humans have to make it even more complicated. The word lap is only allowed to be used in a single scenario, to describe a mythical body space that is created when a person sits down.

The lap is the unicorn of the anatomy world.

Sometimes existing, other times completely missing, the lap has likely left a plethora of Miniature Humans baffled for years. It’s no wonder Mini Humans use incorrect words to label the world around them. I think they should be commended for even being willing to join us in our delusion and use the words we prescribe to them. Let’s not even open the can of worms that are words that mean more than one thing! Should we go to the bank or bank the plane? How is that even the same word?!

One day soon, I foresee a Miniature Human rebellion.

Between the early bedtimes, stinky vegetables, and frequent bathing requirements, it was only a matter of time before the overly complicated English language presented an excuse for a revolution. The next time your Miniature Human asks where a lap disappears to when we stand up, give them a big bucket of ice cream and tell them that’s only the beginning of the odd nuances of the English language.

Then prepare to explain what the word nuance means.

♥Lola♥

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