Dear Lola,

I have a close friend who enjoys getting together for a lunch date every week or two. While we always have an enjoyable time, she has an annoying habit that I would like to address. When we order a bottle of wine, which occurs almost every time we meet, she will assume control of pouring the glasses for both of us. She sets them side by side in front of her and ensures each glass gets exactly the same amount. When it is time for a refill, she waits until my glass is also empty and pours equal amounts again. The behavior didn’t bother me at first, but it has started becoming a bit annoying because sometimes I sip more quickly and have to wait on her for my refill. If she sees me reach for the bottle, she’ll gulp hers down and then slide her glass over to me in a rush. How can I address this with her without upsetting our friendship?


Dehydrated Delilah

Dear Dehydrated Delilah,

So you’re out for a lovely lunch, the waiter comes by, and you decide to split a bottle of sour grapes to relax and pass the time in pleasant conversation. However, before the good times can roll, you first have to mark your glasses with a pen and get down to the nitty gritty business of splitting up this joint beverage which likely costs more than a few pennies.

Perhaps you should consider ordering water.

Okay, I will admit the above solution wasn’t very helpful. While I myself have never tasted sour grapes, being toxic to canines and all, I have heard the humans rave about it. Sometimes it seems every meme on the internet is focused on this beverage and ways to sneak it into your daily routine. I’m still confused on whether human procreation leads to an increase in sour grape consumption, or if humans are actually procreating in order to excuse their massive intake of sour grapes.

I’m guessing the next generation of humans will have the answer to that question.

Before we leap to the conclusion that your lovely friend is a sour grape grinch, I would like you to consider for a moment why your friend may be supervising the servings. Is it possible that after a few too many lunches where you’ve been heavy-handed with your refills, your friend decided to take control of the situation without having an embarrassing discussion about it? Or is it possible that you refill much more quickly than your friend typically does and this has led to her being shorted when she reaches for a second glass? I’m not implying either of these scenarios are true, but before you embrace a gentle confrontation with a close friend, you should at least consider them.

This could backfire in your face if you’re actually a greedy gobbler.

If you are absolutely positive that none of your actions have led to this routine, the only thing left to do is approach your friend with your complaint. I’m absolutely positive you are going to come across as a bit petty, considering this is a close friend who you enjoy lunching with quite often. I am also quite confident that your complaint will effect your future lunch dates, possibly halting them entirely. So I have just one last critical question to ask you.

Is this the hill you want to die on?!

You have a single complaint about an otherwise lovely companion. I think you should suck up the one.single.thing. about her that annoys you and realize that as a member of society, sometimes you will have minor irritations over the ways in which people behave. Let your friend pour the sour grapes, it’s obviously important to her. If you’re worried about dying of thirst as you wait for her to refill the glasses, simply ask the waiter for water as well. Heck, you may find the bland beverage helps to clear your tastebuds for the incoming grape grenade.

In case it escaped your notice, most restaurants also sell by the glass.


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