Canine instincts. This from the dog who sleeps with a pillow under her head and a blanket tucked over her.
My fault. I bought a flamethrower. In my defense, there was a spider in the house and it wanted to kill us.
I’m a terrible, horrible, no-good Mommybeast.
The ‘calm down’ sweater was actually quite lovely – if you like the feel of bees stinging you repeatedly over several hours.