Dear Lola,

My daughter is about to move away to college and I couldn’t be prouder of her accomplishments. However, there is one thing we are in disagreement about – her old bedroom. My wife and I want to convert it into an office in order to remove our computer desks from the main living area. Our daughter was upset when we told her and said she had assumed she was welcome to return home to visit. Lola, she is welcome to return home and we have a spare bedroom she can use when she does! When I pointed that out, my daughter said she isn’t a guest and she would like her room to remain intact. My wife switched teams and now thinks our daughter is correct. What would you recommend we do?

Dad in Search of Desk

A cartoon rendering of Lola riding a scooter saying "I'm on my way to help the humans!"

Dear Dad in Search of Desk,

Congratulations! You have spent the past 18 years raising an accomplished Miniature Human who worked hard at her studies and managed to secure a spot in college in order to prepare for an even brighter future. As a reward for her efforts and achievements, you toss her out as easily as week-old leftovers that smell up the refrigerator.

Your Miniature Human probably has bruises from the rough landing.

In case you haven’t realized this yet, moving out of your childhood home is not an easy thing to do. I speak from experience, thanks to a puppyhood filled with military moves to new houses with strange yards and weird neighbors. While the Earl of Excitement is present during a big transition, the Marchioness of Misgivings is sitting in the back of the brain – calmly sipping on a beverage as she waits to pounce during a weak moment.

Forget the computer desks and focus on getting your Miniature Human to college without a nervous breakdown.

In case you still feel inclined to plead your case to the computer screen after reading this, let me point out a few additional facts. College isn’t typically year-round living. Your Miniature Human will have to return home for breaks, and moving her into a guest room seems a bit cruel. Not to mention stressful, since that leaves you with no place to put up relatives who likely want to visit with your not-so-Miniature Human while she is home. Instead of desks in the living room, you’ll have a partially nude grandma sleeping on the couch.

That is an image you will never be able to wipe from your memory!

In a year or two, your plans to rearrange the rooms can be easily accomplished. Your Miniature Human may even help you repaint her old room, as the worry about her future fades. She will box up her childhood and put it into the attic – where all good childhoods go to die. Then you’ll find yourself alone, sitting in your room with computer desks, wondering why you were so eager to get to this point.

Now that you’re sobbing, my job here is done.


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2 replies on “Dear Lola – Child’s bedroom is not a museum of youth…

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