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Terrible things happen once the Hubster goes to bed at night. As soon as his head hits the pillow, I emerge from my bubble of sanity and unleash Night Heather onto the world. Usually Night Heather only affects those on the internet, but sometimes she ventures out into the real world and makes her presence known to the people of her community. Those poor, unsuspecting people of her community. Before you continue reading, be sure you’re caught up on When Night Heather Goes to Taco Bell Vol. 1…

Night Heather was very, very hungry.

Like the caterpillar in the popular children’s book, Night Heather felt ready to eat her way through the food alphabet – vegetables and all! As she pulled away from the police cruiser, she saluted the officer in the rearview mirror. It was time for the adventure to Taco Bell to continue. Night Heather wisely kept the music volume low to avoid any more interruptions on her quest.

Taco Bell would be closing soon and Night Heather could not be disappointed.

Driving through the dark streets, the only lights were those of a lonely gas station. Normally desolate at this time, tonight the gas station was very busy. Night Heather became nervous – busy gas stations meant people were on their way home from a night with friends or family, maybe even a sports event. These people usually needed snacks and the only place open was Taco Bell. Night Heather knew she needed to speed up, ensuring the nacho cheesy waterfalls did not run dry before she arrived.

Night Heather gripped the steering wheel and stepped on the gas pedal.

Nothing would stop her from getting in front of the gas station cars. Luckily, it didn’t come to that – she sped through the intersection and found herself in front. The rearview mirror proved her fears were correct, Night Heather now had a following to the Taco Bell drive thru. As she turned into the parking lot of her happy place, she noted that the line of cars was very long. She looked at the clock and worried. Happy workers make delicious food, unhappy workers do not. Workers who have to stay past closing are not generally happy.

Night Heather should have never questioned the professionalism of her favorite people.

The faceless speaker box greeted Night Heather with enthusiasm, reassuring her the food would be as perfect as it always is. Night Heather started ordering and within a minute, heard a voice from in front of her car. The voice was Julia, a worker of this fine establishment. She was two cars ahead of Night Heather, obviously enjoying a rare night off. Julia was very excited to hear Night Heather’s voice and bellowed out a greeting.

Night Heather bellowed back to her, delighted at this strange turn of events.

The Taco Bell workers were not only happy, but they loved it enough to eat it when they weren’t working. If Night Heather ever needed reassurance about Taco Bell, which she didn’t, she had it this night. Julia called out and asked how Night Heather’s evening had been. She was enthralled by the story of the police officer and wondered how one person could get pulled over so often.

Night Heather obviously has a gift, however unwanted it is.

It should be noted that there was a car between Julia and Night Heather. The driver’s neck was getting quite a workout as he looked from front to back, following the conversation in the line. He used a pause in the story to ask if he was now officially in a threesome. Night Heather laughed and dubbed him Peacock – how else to explain how he found himself in the middle of two ladies late at night. Peacock wondered if the line was moving slowly because the nacho cheese had run out.

Say it isn’t so, Peacock, say it isn’t so!

Julia, being ahead of the other cars, reassured Peacock (and a very nervous Night Heather) that the cheese was plentiful. It was just a large order from a ravenous group in front. Suddenly, there is a panicked voice calling out in the dark. Night Heather leaned further out her window and saw a woman waving. The woman, dubbed Karen, started shouting into the speaker box next to her window.

CAN I SPEAK TO A MANAGER?! Karen’s shrill voice carried for miles.

Karen’s meltdown was not a pretty sight to see. By the time Julia, Peacock, and Night Heather pieced it together, Karen had driven away half of the cars behind her. Shrieking that the nacho cheese had run out, Karen demanded answers on why the workers hadn’t announced that before customers waited in line. Despite multiple pleas from the workers, Night Heather, Julia, and Peacock, Karen was positive that there was no nacho cheese at this Taco Bell. She was in full rant mode that no voices of reason could break through. Karen drove off in a huff, oblivious to the mayhem she had caused.

She also drove off without any delicious food, which was in fact, not sold out.

Here’s a lesson for the kids today – don’t be like Karen. Karen is a stupid person who will constantly be denied the joys of life because her big mouth gets in the way of all the good in the world. Be like Night Heather. Sure, you may get pulled over by the police for having too much fun, but you’ll have delicious nacho cheese to dip your tortilla chips.

And one day you may find yourself nicknaming someone Peacock.


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather

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