Lately I’ve given some thought to printing up executive business cards. I’m not sure they can be termed ‘executive’ business cards when their purpose is to promote my book, blog, and doodle endeavors, but I’m going to continue doing so until someone calls bullshit on my word choice.

Resist the urge to do it now – a few minutes with an inflated head won’t hurt me.

I inevitably became stumped on the section of the ‘executive’ business card where a job title gets listed. I wanted to put writer, but wouldn’t that mean that anyone who writes a sentence can call themselves that? Half of Twitter is qualified to use that title! I pondered adding freelance to writer to make it official, but that made me feel like a journalist. Considering this blog can be (definitely is) exaggerated for amusement, I might accidentally get labeled a fake news peddler.

Surely there must be a better job title for someone of my stature!

Now might be the time for you to pop my inflated head.

Here’s a list of job titles I’ve come up with so far –

  • CEO of Thought Train
  • Director of Daytime Shenanigans
  • Sentence Supervisor
  • Vice President of Stuff I Thought
  • Curator of Crayons
  • President of Night Brain
  • COO of Random Words
  • Keyboard Commander
  • Ambassador of Genuine Laughter
  • Creator of Night Mayhem
  • Web Surfer Extraordinaire
  • Alphabet Engineer

Now I just need to narrow it down to one!


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much 

21 replies on “I’m the alphabet engineer…

  1. While I like both the President of Night Brain and the Creator of Night Mayhem they somehow imply that you are only at your best at night (kind of Vampire like) which I know isn’t true. Ambassador of Genuine Laughter has a very regal ring. I think however that you should consider Solicitor General of Nacho Cheese. You have quite the library of Taco Bell stories.

    Liked by 1 person

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