Dear Lola,

I have a terrible habit of biting my nails when I am feeling stressed. I have tried many things to stop myself from doing this, but none of them have worked. There was this liquid you swipe on your nails to make them taste bitter, which didn’t stop the biting. Then I tried acrylic nails so that I could preserve my real nails. It ‘worked’ in a sense, but I was paying for pricey fake nails to bite until they looked mangled. Do you have any solutions to this problem?

Nail Nibbler

Advice for humans. They need all the help they can get.

Dear Nail Nibbler,

Stress reactions, most humans have them. Unfortunately, you have a habit that is quite difficult to cover up. In addition to showing off ragged nails every time you step out of your home, you probably also tend to bite your fingernails when in the presence of other people and not realize it. This can be an off-putting habit for the people around you, especially those who are germ conscientious.

Unlike the animal kingdom, humans are encouraged to do their grooming when alone.

Since you’ve already tried the traditional solutions for your problem, we’ll need to think outside the box to fix this. My first thought is to have you wrap the tips of all your fingers in bandages, to prevent you from nibbling on them when life becomes hectic. However, I worry this may lead your fellow humans to excessively question what odd accident rendered you injured on the tips of all your fingers.

You could make up a great story, but the stress of the lie could cause a regression.

Another solution would be to wear driving gloves at all times. Nice leather ones would not only feel luxurious, but you could get them in a variety of colors to complement any outfit. You may initially get odd looks from people when the summer heat is in full effect and you are still wearing your gloves, but you can take comfort that at least you’re not getting odd looks from people due to biting your nails.

I’m guessing that solution is too out of the box for you.

My final recommendation would be to walk around with a huge bag of snacks. Every time you raise your fingers to bite a nail, shove a piece of candy in your mouth. Hard candy that takes time to dissolve would work rather well. Sharing your candy with friends and family would be an added perk – they would completely forget all those times they caught you chewing on your hand.

If none of these solutions solve your nail-biting problem, you’ll have only one recourse left to you. Embrace your inner zombie and chew to your heart’s content.


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53 replies on “Dear Lola – Nail nibbler…

  1. Excellent tips, Lola. I particularly like the constant snacking approach, because when Nail Nibbler eventually reaches circus freak size, no one will be able to see the bitten down nails underneath the chub rolls. #GlobalBlogging

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ha ha this is so funny! I only noticed yesterday when in my sister’s house that my nine year old niece has chewed her nails away so much that her fingers look like little stumps. Honesty I was trying not to stare but I got a bit of a shock. I’ve never seen her do it but she obviously chews them all the time. Neither of my daughters do this so I have no idea how to curb it. Excellent suggestions though Lola, given a choice my niece would probably opt to walk around with the big bag of snacks no doubt! #globalblogging

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I was thinking that Lola would have this nail biter being walked more regularly by his/her pet, so that they can drag their nails along the sidewalk to maintain them. But no, LOLA strikes again – and she NAILED it! #globalblogging xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

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