I never thought I would live to see the day that toilet paper brought about the end of our society, but that day is indeed here. A popular US company has decided to plonk us all over the head with an invention that we all thought we needed – before we had given any thought to what it’s ramifications for our species would be.

This is our dinosaur extinction moment.

Okay, I think I’ve got the majority of the grandiose statements out of the way so that I can actually help you to understand the chaos we are about to be plunged into.

Charmin has introduced a roll of toilet paper that will last the average family an entire month. It may not sound so terrible on the first utterance, but say it again while imagining how many rolls you change in a month. The number is probably staggering, especially if someone in your house is over 35 or under the age of 10. For some reason the years between 10 and 35 are when we use the least number of squares per wipe. It’s probably the naivety of youth combined with our first taste of paying for all of our own bills.

Suffice it to say, this roll has to be massive in order to last a month.

In fact, the roll is so big that the company had to design a special holder to put in your bathroom.  It stands tall in the center of the room, a beacon of hope that you will never run out of paper again – but also because the toilet paper roll is so round that it cannot fit anywhere else. They also offer a wall mounted option, but I can almost guarantee you will lose that wall the first time you have to access the toilet in an emergency.

And you may lose the kneecap that crashed into the roll – a minor detail, I’m sure.

Thankfully I’m here to weigh out the pros and cons of this life-altering invention that could bring about the end of humanity as we know it. (Oh, guess I had one more grandiose statement after all.) It’s probably best to bring this up in discussion at your next dinner party so everyone you know and love is aware of the danger lurking around the corner.

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Pros of having a month long roll of toilet paper.

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Cons of having a month long roll of toilet paper.

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39 replies on “Dinner party discussions just got interesting…”

  3. Is that stat real, about the under 10 and over 35. That’s really fascinating. I’m quite curious about it….My kids need that in their bathroom. No one can change it and they all yell at each other for not changing it…#Dreamteam

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    1. I don’t know if that statistic would hold up under a scientific review, but it does seem like anyone between those ages does not have to change rolls of toilet paper as often as the others.

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    1. It definitely is less paper tubes in the middle, but paper is so easily recycled that it doesn’t seem like there would be a major benefit. The company has not stated it’s environmentally more responsible and I would think they would’ve pointed that out as a benefit if it were true.

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  13. I have heard about this concept, but I haven’t seen it in the stores YET. I would be afraid to get it for our home because my kids go through toilet paper rather quickly as it is. I think if I gave them a bigger roll it would lead to disaster! #DreamTeam

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  14. Oh no… not a huge toilet roll. I’m closing my eyes to the thought of a curious Button unraveling the whole thing to see how long it would be. Let’s keep to the normal sized ones and be happy with the crafts and crafts resource you’re left with once it’s run out hehe. #DreamTeam 😊

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  15. A month-long roll does sound like a bit of an extreme solution to reducing how often you need to change the toilet roll. I can imagine it must be enormous! Can you imagine the mess if the Andrex puppy got hold of it?!:-) #bloggerclubuk

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  16. Hilarious! Just earlier I was in Sainsburys and noticed that they were selling the most ridiculously large packet of spaghetti I have ever seen. In the same section were sackfuls of tea bags and 100 wash laundry powders. Did we become giants all of a sudden?!

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  18. I totally believe that statistic – my five year old goes through an unbelievable amount of toilet paper. Every time I go into the bathroom the roll is nearly gone! And whenever my mother-in-law comes to stay I buy an entire new pack to keep on standby because we always run out when she is here. Don’t ask me why because I have absolutely no idea….but although I go through quite an amount of it each week I think I will still stick to the regular rolls for now! #bloggerclubuk

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  19. Oh my goodness… At least my children wouldn’t be able to drop this down the toilet which is how we go through at least one roll each week. Although they might break the toilet if they dropped it onto it or indeed crush themselves so i’d best stick to normal size rolls for now…. #DreamTeam

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  21. Even if we were able to fit such a huge roll of toilet paper in our bathroom, I’m sure my 4 year old would still manage to get through it in less than a week…. #dreamteam

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