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Dear Lola,

I have a terrible confession to make. I was recently entrusted with caring for my friend’s home for a week while she was away on vacation. She invited me to stay at her house so I could care for her pets and make sure everything ran smoothly. While I was in her home, I snooped through some of her things. I looked in her bathroom cabinets and even opened all the kitchen cupboards to see what was in them all. The closet in the guest bedroom I slept in was especially fun to peek through because it seems my friend purchases gifts for our group and stashes them in there throughout the year. Now I’m feeling guilty because I shouldn’t have looked at anything while I was there. My husband says I’m being ridiculous because I didn’t snoop into any actual private places like the master bedroom or her personal closet. I want to confess to my friend and get it off my conscience. What should I do?

Snooping Susan

Advice for humans. They need all the help they can get.

Dear Snooping Susan,

I’m not sure how closely you follow this blog, but I had Mommybeast run a poll a few weeks ago to gather information about this very issue. In my canine world, I am entitled to walk into any room, at any time, and sniff whatever I happen to come across. I needed to gain some perspective of how your fellow humans expect other humans to act within their home.

A poll showing that people think snooping is despicable

This is the part where I contradict everything the poll results tell you.

You didn’t do anything wrong – at most you violated a common societal norm. You looked in the cabinets of the bathroom your friend offered you. Surely if there was anything of potential embarrassment to her, she would have moved those items before your stay. You also looked through the kitchen cabinets. I am making an educated guess that your friend expected you to use the items in those very cabinets, considering you were staying in the home for an entire week. She wouldn’t want you to starve to death – who would feed her precious four-legged babies? I would also like to point out that not many people store embarrassing nude photos with their silverware.

Was your friend hoping to keep her quinoa obsession a secret?!

Here’s where it gets a bit shadowy – you did snoop through a closet. Most people would call that crossing the line, but I’m not most and I’m definitely not people. You used the closet in the room you were given to stay in. Should your clothes be thrown onto the floor, providing a new bed for her fur friends to curl up in? Surely not!

Though my species would love to nap on your $500 cashmere sweater.

Now you want to clear your conscience and feel better by telling your friend about your deeds. This will either amuse your friend, who likely expected you would at some point look at those three places since they were designated for your use, or cause your friend to feel utterly violated within her own home. I think as far as your conscience is concerned, you need to keep this information to yourself. Carry that burden as your punishment, and as a deterrent to future bad behavior. I know humans put a lot of stock in being truthful, but let’s be honest (see what I did there?!) – this truth will do nothing but hurt your friend. You don’t get to feel better at her expense.


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