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Dear Lola,

A few months ago my wife was feeling very rundown. As a bit of pampering, I began bringing her tea in bed so she could rest for a few minutes longer before tackling the unenviable job of getting the kids off to school. I think my question is more rhetorical in nature, but I would still like your esteemed canine opinion on it. Why don’t more husbands do something as simple as make tea for their exhausted wives? It starts her day off right which usually ends with her less snappish at the end of the day – a very nice solution to multiple problems.

Taming with Tea

Dear Lola

Dear Taming with Tea,

Well I have officially seen it all. A husband who makes tea in bed for his wife?! Mommybeast is sticking a post it note on Daddybeast’s pillow as we speak. Let’s hope an ice-cold Cold Zero gets delivered to her in bed tomorrow or we may all suffer the consequences.

As to your question, it has a myriad of answers so I’ll sum them up a succinctly as possible. I have found through my years watching the human species that men tend to display one or more of the following traits:

  • a lack of understanding of simple concepts including, but not limited to, making their wives happy by completing mundane tasks

This is made worse when the husband spends 8 hours learning how to rebuild a lawnmower, and then successfully doing it. They know you can learn how to turn on the dishwasher!

  • an inability to complete mundane tasks without making a larger mess than existed before they began

There are paper towels, tissues, toilet paper, even notebook paper. Choose a paper and start wiping that mess you just made! Use some of that spray under the kitchen sink if the mess is sticky.

  • a loss of motivation to complete mundane tasks if the wife does not prostrate herself in praise within seconds of the task being completed

We know you’re still bitter that you took out the trash 5 years ago and she didn’t even notice. She promises to prepare a parade route for you if you’ll try to do the chore again.

So there you have it, a few reasons I could think of that discourage men from making their wives a cup of tea in bed. To all the men reading my column, I know it’s not fair for me to paint you all with the same brush but I am tired and no one brought me breakfast in bed. Make that happen and I will happily provide an answer that is completely biased in your favor.


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