Complaining is one solution…

Every time Apple releases an iOS update, I follow a tried and true pattern for keeping my tech gadgets running with as little interruption as possible. Nothing is worse than picking up your phone only to realize that you have to wait an agonizing 4 minutes for it to download and install new software.

Nobody has 4 minutes to waste when Twitter is trying to reach them!

Day 1 of iOS upgrade –

Stare at phone in bafflement for 16 seconds. Click ‘remind me later’ to get the upgrade notification to disappear while you resume staring at cute dogs on Instagram.

Day 2 of iOS upgrade –

Look at phone first thing in the morning, release a huge sigh because the notification box is again blocking your screen. Click ‘remind me later’ and notify your Facebook followers that you are awake.

Day 3 to 7 of iOS upgrade –

Continue to click ‘remind me later’ each morning while becoming increasingly frustrated by your phone’s inability to follow a simple direction. Do not actually download the iOS update, that will be a major inconvenience to your life for 4 whole minutes.

Day 8 of iOS upgrade –

Download updates for all of your social media apps. Be sure to avoid downloading the actual iOS update, you don’t have time for that. Social media is critical to survival, therefore you must succumb to those updates without delay. Hop on Twitter and let the masses know that you had a chicken caesar salad for lunch.

Day 9 of iOS upgrade –

Complain that your social media apps are not working properly. Lament the fact that you spent upwards of $1,000 on a phone that is now basically a brick. Completely forget the early 90s era when you had to wait 5 minutes for the internet to connect, that distant memory can stay buried.

Day 10 of iOS upgrade –

Wake up with a moment of clarity, you can actually hear the angelic singing drifting down from the heavens. I bet those pesky social media apps are not working because they need the new iOS update to function. Click the update now button on your phone. Tap your fingers until the progress bar is finished and then cheer as your phone restarts.

Day 11 of iOS upgrade –

Bask in the euphoric feeling that once again all is right in your world. Your iPhone is working magnificently, your social media apps are again running at peak levels, and you didn’t die while waiting for the download.

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