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Dear Lola,

I am having trouble getting my children to eat their vegetables. Thanks to your Mommybeast’s social media posts, I am aware that you eat everything she hands you. What does she do that makes you so excited to eat the food you are given? I’ve tried threatening my kids with the veggie monster like my mother did, but it only seemed to make them laugh.

Vexed by Veggies

Dear Lola

Dear Vexed by Veggies,

My sympathies to you, fellow Hominid Wrangler. It must be hard to have Miniature Humans turn down the food you so lovingly crafted for them. I suppose it is too late to skip the Miniature Humans and just adopt a herd of English bulldogs?! Such as shame seeing as how we eat whatever is handy.

Even if the item in question is a bug and not food.

Now, I’m a huge fan of veggies, but Mommybeast puts up quite a fuss over eating hers. I’ve had to get creative over the years as a way to encourage her to eat healthy enough to guarantee she out lives me. I suggest you start with the exotic green bean. They descend from Green Bean Land and make squeaky noises as they ride into your belly. They even do a little dance across the plate on the way to your mouth.

Mommybeast needs storylines and sound effects to eat her vegetables.

Mommybeast hates green beans but she adores them once they have been covered in a creamy mushroom sauce. Perhaps you’ve seen this can in your local grocery canned soup aisle? Heat up this sauce and pour it over the green beans – down the hatch they go! Mommybeast will even hum with happiness as she dips her fingers in the sauce.

She may actually be a Miniature Human trapped in a big people body.

Thanks to the sauce being mushroom based, it almost feels like a double veggie victory. For the other veggies, I recommend you deploy a cheese sauce or a ranch dip. One is warm, the other cold – use your discretion in testing which ones match the best. Then switch sauce and serve that combination. Miniature Humans always like the opposite of their Hominid Wrangler.


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