I fell and broke my arm and am now struggling with a moral dilemma. I know lying is typically frowned upon, but explaining how I fell down is embarrassing because I literally do not know how it happened. It seems my feet plotted one course and my brain had another idea. Somewhere in that split second, my shoe found the pavement not up to its standards and refused to touch it again. I’d like to come up with a cover story that doesn’t make me sound like a helpless twat. I am slightly worried that one day the lie will be exposed. So, what would you do in this scenario?
Dear Fancy Feet,
I know you can’t hear it, but I am actually wheezing from laughing at the very picture you have painted. Mommybeast frequently has arguments with her feet that end with her in a heap on the ground. Sometimes my toy will have caused her to trip but I always move it out of the way before she realizes it, leaving her to blame the air for tripping her.
Question the family pets as to their whereabouts during your ‘accident.’
I would also like to point out that the only way someone can prove it is a lie, is if you confide the truth to someone. So I recommend that you immediately adopt the prison motto of “snitches get stitches” and make sure your living companions are made clear on your new life philosophy. Now, as far as coming up with a great lie, there is one very crucial piece of advice I’ve learned from watching Seinfeld.
It’s not a lie if you believe it.
To get you started, here are a few story ideas of how you may have broken your arm. You are training to be a ninja and the nunchuck level was more difficult than you anticipated. You tripped as you entered the Matrix. Your speedboat went airborne and you are lucky to have gotten out alive.
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