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Dear Lola,

I recently witnessed a Twitter conversation debating the differences between shrimp and prawns. Before we go any further, I feel I should disclose that your Mommybeast was the leader of this pondering. I hope she doesn’t retaliate against you should you arrive at a different conclusion than she did.

Now that we’ve addressed that, I need to be frank – I think your Mom was wrong when she concluded that shrimp and prawns are the same thing. I happen to think they note the different species. What do you think? 


Dear Lola

Dear ShrimPrawns,

Thank you for being open about the origins of your pondering. Mommybeast would never retaliate against me for different thinking. While you think this is because she loves me so much, it’s actually because I like to retaliate with poop on her favorite carpet.

I’ve also been aptly nicknamed Puddles after a recent disagreement over couch seating arrangements.

Let’s tackle the question at hand! Shrimp and prawns, the tastiest dishes to ever be produced by the ocean. Are they the same thing, or entirely different organisms? First, let’s think a bit simpler. Have you ever wondered why shrimp is not plural and prawns are not singular? While you could say the word prawn, it’s never actually used in real-life conversations. Always plural, prawns.

The only way we can get to the bottom of these deep thoughts is to study the subject on Wikipuppia – a superior research engine to the human’s Wikipedia based on the number of humans writing me with questions they have no answers to.

According to Wikipuppia, both terms lack scientific standing. Basically, the humans have screwed up their language yet again by assigning two words to the same item and then interchanging them as they please. What’s even more baffling about this trend, is that the words were both born from the English language. It’s not like one word came from a French word and another from Portugal. Nope. Both came from the English language.

I’m going to need the humans to get it together. Dogs don’t have these kinds of issues. We say sit, we mean sit. We say bark, we mean bark. We say lick, that tongue had best get to tasting! Maybe humans should solve one of their pressing problems and just settle on a single word for this tiny, delicious organism – while getting out the butter for a tasty scampi dinner.

On a plus note, Mommybeast was right and she’s going to give me a piece of cheese as a reward for agreeing with her.


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