Dear Lola,

I recently stumbled across an oddity while doing my weekly grocery shop. I was purchasing ketchup and as I was grabbing my usual bottle, I saw that the ketchup next to it was labeled fancy. My ketchup doesn’t say it is fancy. The colors looked the same. The ingredients looked the same. What makes some ketchup fancy while others are just plain?

Keen for Ketchup

Dear Lola

Dear Keen for Ketchup,

You and my Mommybeast would get along well. She also has a penchant for ketchup that sometimes results in her planning an entire dinner around items she can dip into the delicious sauce. I’ve looked in our refrigerator and discovered a shocking fact – we use ketchup. Not fancy ketchup! I must investigate this for a moment.

a cartoon rendering of Lola sitting at an iMac computer wearing a pair of glasses. The computer screen reads " The Google: ketchup, fancy ketchup, I love bacon."

I’ve searched, and once again The Google has proved itself useless. Humans just don’t have the answers to these deep life questions. Thank goodness my bulldog brain came loaded with them!

Fancy ketchup is made with fancy tomatoes.

Not content to be grown in a dirt field, fancy tomatoes are cultivated in crystal vases. When it is time for their watering, an outdoor hose is turned away. Fancy tomatoes prefer only the purest of waters to touch their delicate skins. Water from Mount Haleakalā in Hawai’i is the most desired, but other mountain top water can be substituted during emergencies. Fancy tomatoes demand the very top accommodations and are never left exposed to the elements like wind – and that greenhouse glass they live behind is actually made of diamonds. To finish off the five-star life of a fancy tomato, they are pruned with shears made of 24 karat gold.

All that aside, I cannot find a single taste difference between ketchup and fancy ketchup. Still, I think I’ll have Mommybeast switch our brands so that I can dream of that wonderful tomato life.


Send Lola your questions in the comments, or by clicking one of my social media links below!

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94 replies on “Dear Lola – Excuse me fancy pants…

  1. “Fancy” or US Grade A is a USDA grade for tomato ketchup, which deals with the specific weight of the ketchup. That is, in order to qualify as fancy, ketchup must have a minimum of 33% tomato solids in the sauce, as well as meeting other criteria regarding color, consistency, and absence of defects. As you may guess, US Grade A/Fancy is the highest grade of tomato ketchup, followed by US Grade B/Extra Standard (29%) and US Grade C/Standard (25%).
    Lola, it took me one try to get the true answer. I hate to say it but this time bulldog may be giving us bull dodo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. As Lola’s meemaw, you should know she’s perfect in every way…including her wisdom! You have been brainwashed by The Google and are buying everything that they put out there. All of these percentages are just a smokescreen to stop us from hatching plans to steal the diamonds and gold involved with fancy tomato growing.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. This is Lola’s Mommybeast (your daughter) weighing in now. I would like to point out that brandeating. com, where you got your information from, is run by exactly two people. Not exactly a font of reliable information. I’ve got a person and a wise bulldog – infinitely more reliable than a mere two humans. And I think the gold shears are very plausible. So shush it before you get bulldog 💩 in your Mother’s Day package!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Just popping back again from #dreamteam. Ketchup is a mealtime staple in our house so we’re definitely with Heather on this one 🙂 #dreamteam

    Liked by 1 person

  3. As someone who cannot stand ketchup, I was almost persuaded to give the fancy pants version a try – surely something bathed in the waters from Mount Haleakalā must be amazing, but alas, I cannot even contemplate letting ketchup in my house. So I will just have to trust Lola’s word that fancy pants ketchup is the way to go #dreamteam

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love watching programmes where they switch the branded products for non-branded/cheaper alternatives and the family have no clue that they are eating something different! Goes to show really how easy it is to be conditioned. #DreamTeam

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ketchup is something very personal. I love Heinz but will sometimes stray to alternatives or even… make my own! We often have too many tomatoes but I don’t have 24 carot secateurs! #dreamteam

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sounds like some raw water. Or labeling things that have zero gluten in them to begin with “gluten free”. HAHA. Marketing ploy


  7. Well when it comes to ketchup in my household – they are extremely fussy. They only have one particular brand and know the difference in texture and taste. PS! Lola you making me crave for ketchup and chips at the moment.#Dreamteam

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Fancy ketchup? Is that an actual thing in the States? We have loads of different types of ketchup here, but my heart is in Heinz (especially as they collected our home grown tomatoes and turned them into a unique batch of sauce for us as a very special treat – possibly fancy?) LOL. Love it. #DreamTeam xx

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m not a ketchup fan, but the Mrs. and the littles, they go through it with bravado! I’m really not a fan of the ketchup residue on the plates. Ugh. But oh to live life as well as the veggies we consume! xoxo #blogcrush

    Liked by 1 person

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