Today I turn 34. Now, some of you may find the prospect of aging to be scary, but I don’t. I find myself eagerly awaiting old age and all its glorious benefits. In case you are depressed about your own aging, here’s a list of a few things I’m looking forward to.
I could say whatever was on my mind.
People would chalk it up to my being senile. Think about that for just a moment! I could finally tell people what I think about their haircuts and clothing choices without risk of being throat punched. Because throat punching a crazy old lady is wrong and most people in society realize that.
I could drool on myself as I binge on Netflix.
I would just watch and chew, watch and chew, watch and chew. Drool would be on my shirt and I could blissfully ignore it because I was born in the 1900s and who are you to judge me?!
The best perk of aging is definitely going to be the milkshakes.
I plan on requesting milkshakes at every meal and when someone tells me to be healthy, I will snap back that I’ve made it this far and give me a damn shake. Then I will happily drink my dessert at seven in the morning and follow it up with a big slice of cake.
It’s going to be so exciting!
To ensure I don’t feel a moment’s hesitation over my new age, I went to Taco Bell at the stroke of midnight and made sure my first ‘Older Lady’ meal was the nacho cheesy goodness that always make me happy.
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Happy Birthday dear Heather! May your day be filled with drool, milk shakes and hand delivered taco bell! Make your dreams come true friend! ❤
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Oh, that is so sweet! Hubster was cracking up that I waited until midnight when it was officially my birthday in order to go get my first Taco Bell as a 34-year-old. I’m so lucky he married me… He even knew about the Taco Bell habit before he did so!!
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🌮💜💕😘
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Too funny! And here’s one for you — we once went to a religious service and I nudged my husband and said “I smell fried chicken.” He said, “Don’t be silly.” We went back and forth like this a few times, then I decided I just had to know. So I got up and walked toward the back. Sure enough, there was an old lady sitting in the back row eating fried chicken! I thought, “You go, girl! There have to be some perks to aging!”
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That old lady 👵 is my hero!
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Happy birthday! As someone who has already done 34 – it’s a good year 😉 #HumpDayLinky
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Oh good! I was a little worried I’d have to exercise and start a daily horoscope reading!
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Hope you had a lovely birthday! This post is great 🙂 I thought I’d hate get older but it’s not that bad, I can’t wait to get to the stage where I can say exactly what I want and people laugh it off as just being an old lady. #humpdaylinky
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That day is my dream!!! Just old ladies and their witty mouths!
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Well now I feel better about heading for the middle of my thirties! I wonder how many of these you could start doing now? Why wait! #humpdaylinky
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You’re right! I’m not going to wait, I need to start doing these already!
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What about hitting people with your walking stick – surely that’s a perk too.
#humpdaylinky
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I love that my readers are as diabolical as I am!
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Haha … whoops. Showing my dark side. 😳
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Great post. I turned 55 recently, which feels like a landmark where I can start being happily grumpy and say what I like …. with limits, obviously – after all, I’m only 55!
#DreamTeam
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At 60 you get to say anything – better start taking notes!
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Happy belated birthday Heather! I am so with you on this one. Shall we order shakes with 2 portions of cheesy chips just to be on the safe side, because you can never have enough chocolate and cheese. Love that you waited till midnight to order your taco bell. #DreamTeam x
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I’ve made it this far, give me a damn shake!…. LOL… love this! Definitely a new way to look at getting older! 🙂 #GlobalBlogging
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I love the requesting milkshakes at every meal idea! Superb!!!
#GlobalBlogging
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Ice cream through a straw – how can you go wrong?!?! 😁
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I just want to be allowed to be grumpy without having to explain myself all the time. And hell yes, bring me a damn Milkshake 🙂 #globalblooging
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This made me giggle, especially telling people about their haircuts! You’ve got a way to go yet though.. baby at 34!!
#globalblogging
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I just turned 38 and I’m not bothered about getting old because my kids already tell me that I act like an old lady anyway! #globalblogging
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Aaah I’ve been old for ever, I don’t care though. I love milkshake but recently whenever I order one my child steals it, very dissapointing #bloggerclubuk
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This is exactly how feel! I shall be the crazy lady drinking gin and lying in her garden all day in her retirement! #blogcrush
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YES to the milkshakes! A brilliant post as always – you always make me laugh 🙂 xx #blogcrush
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Well I dont care to age gratefully- but I am all for the Botox, the boobs and whatever else I can get my hands on. Just cut half my butt off and call it a day.
Thanks for linking up to #globalblogging
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Love it! Haha. Thanks for the giggle. 🙂
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Oooh I love milkshakes (chocolate to be precise!). Happy birthday!
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Chocolate is the best!!!
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I too enjoy becoming older. Love the Taco Bell idea! #ThatFridayLinky
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Do what makes you happy for a better life! #ThatFridayLinky
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Finding that some days, I age much more than others! Oy vey! Hope you celebrated a la Taco Bell lady! #blogcrush a week later… yes, I am that behind! M’wah!
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Happy belated birthday! I’m not too worried about aging, though I draw the line at drooling on myself!
#BigPinkLink
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Sending some #ThatFridayLinky love your way! xo
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