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Today I turn 34. Now, some of you may find the prospect of aging to be scary, but I don’t. I find myself eagerly awaiting old age and all its glorious benefits. In case you are depressed about your own aging, here’s a list of a few things I’m looking forward to.

I could say whatever was on my mind and people would chalk it up to my being senile. Think about that for just a moment! I could finally tell people what I think about their haircuts and clothing choices without risk of being throat punched. Because throat punching a crazy old lady is wrong and most people in society realize that.

I could drool on myself as I binge on Netflix. I would just watch and chew, watch and chew, watch and chew. Drool would be on my shirt and I could blissfully ignore it because I was born in the 1900s and who are you to judge me?!

The best perk of aging is definitely going to be the milkshakes. I plan on requesting milkshakes at every meal and when someone tells me to be healthy, I will snap back that I’ve made it this far and give me a damn shake.

It’s going to be so exciting! And to ensure I don’t feel a moment’s hesitation over my new age, I went to Taco Bell at the stroke of midnight and made sure my first older lady meal was the nacho cheesy goodness that always make me happy.

Aging


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below:

 

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