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This weekend Hubster and I convened the Family Budget Committee to discuss our purchases for the previous month and any upcoming expenditures that may not have the proper monetary coverage yet. I’d like to say that the meeting went well, but unfortunately the CEO of the Family Budget has a slight Amazon addiction that she couldn’t quite control.

I laughed as I blew through the budget and clicked the Buy It Now button repeatedly.

A text box that explains "Thoughts while amazon shopping - click...click...click...add to cart...add to cart...definitely add that to the cart. It's free if I don't see the total. Look! Something I didn't even know existed 10 minutes ago. I must have it!"

So here I am, confessing to the internet world so you can all chastise me for my ridiculousness. (Though I’d really prefer if you’d just jump on board with me as I try to fire Hubster from the Budget Committee so he can’t vote against me any longer!) I ordered from Amazon a total of 13 times during the month of March. Not 13 items, 13 orders.

I know, I know, it’s absolutely ridiculous.

In my defense, that one click order button is like cocaine and some of the stuff was for Hubster. Well, it was for his man room. Well, it was pretty stuff to make his man room look less like a cave and more like a room in a civilized home. You know what, I’m stopping before I dig this hole any deeper…some of that stuff was for Hubster! 

Now, I have a plan to curb this excess of Amazon ordering in my future, lest Hubster get cranky and make me give up Taco Bell again. We made it 82 days the last time it was decreed that I was spending money faster than it came in, but I liked him a lot less during that time period. Frankly, I liked everyone less during that dark period of no nacho cheese. Sometimes I have nightmares of Taco Bell going out of business because of mean Hubsters and their silly budgets that attempt to civilize the population of nacho lovers who just want to drink the cheese from the little cup.

I want to drink cheese from the cup without the guilt!

I’ve disabled the Amazon one click ordering so I have a second moment where my brain can try to wrestle itself into not ordering so much during the middle of the night. I have also moved the phone just out of my reach on the nightstand because I swear I’ve woken up to emails from Amazon confirming an order I placed during the night. An order I don’t even remember making. I kept these items because they were fabulous and my conscious brain loved them just as much as my unconscious sleep-brain loved them.

A text graphic that says 'I thougt the drunk texting of my 20s were well behind me. Instead I wake up to emails from Amazon for purchases I made while sleepy.'

Now, I’m off to move all the stuff out of my cart because last night I placed 16 items in it while I was watching TV. Hey, I just wanted to be able to keep my eye on them in case their prices dropped. It’s called bargain shopping and it’s responsible.

I would like to note the hilarity of the moment I am currently experiencing. Hubster just came home from work as I finished this post and he’s dragging in boxes of stuff that was delivered. I almost had a stroke until I realized it was free stuff. Whew! My life flashed before my eyes.

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