Well, the U.S. is getting closer and closer to election day and everyone in the world is watching the horror unfold in front of their faces. Each day I read the news I am more convinced that something terrible will happen in November. My friends’ social media posts are filled with terror and every post is a contradiction on who we should vote for. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I’m running for President.
Now, I know what you’re thinking- I can’t possibly win. Hear me out. I’ve come up with a slogan and I’ve even been given a dollar by a friend who wants to help with my campaign. (I used it to buy a candy. Hey, I’ve got to start spending money like a politician- there’s no room for morals and spending on things like medicine for the elderly.)
That’s what we’re doing ~ That’s how you do it ~ And that’s done
It’s a three-part slogan which I think is very sophisticated. It shows I’m dedicated to complex problem-solving and I don’t shy away from the big issues. It’s also a delicate reminder that I’m in charge and all you little people should just let me lead the way. I’ve written some examples on how I’d debate the issues.
We’re going to fix this broken immigration system ~ We’ll allow immigrants ~ And that’s done
We’re going to fix Medicaid ~ We’ll fund it ~ And that’s done
We’re going to solve the debt crisis ~ We’ll pay it off ~ And that’s done
See how well the three-part system works?!?!? I’m solving the problems of this country with my brain alone! Vote for me by writing my name on the ballot. If I win, I’ll send you a t-shirt…or maybe I won’t because politicians do not have to follow through on promises if they don’t feel like it.
I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet
Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much