I would like to preface the story by saying it just seems like I eat Taco Bell a lot – I don’t think I actually eat there more often than the average American. This is based on my deduction that the average American eats Taco Bell at least three times a week…
Recently I was driving to get myself something delicious from the local Taco Bell. It had been a while since my last adventure to get some nachos and I was quite excited about the prospect of cheesy waterfalls in the near future. I was so cheered by the impending eating of the gooey cheese that I caused a car accident with my smile. You did read that right –
I caused a car accident with my smile.
I pulled up to the light and there were a few people waiting to turn out of a shopping center into the lane that I was currently occupying. Obviously, the first guy sat at the stop sign and was just waiting for traffic lights to change so we could all move again. I looked at the first gentleman and I smiled while thinking about my nacho cheese. Then I thought I would add a burrito to my order and I turned my distracted gaze towards the second person waiting at the stop sign. And then it happened.
The second car jumped forward without any warning and slammed into the guy in front of him. I was so startled that I immediately started laughing. Judging by the crumpled hood of the second car and the violence with which it propelled itself forward, the driver hadn’t just let off the brake, he actively hit the gas pedal.
I managed to gain some control of myself because adults should not be laughing when there are car accidents, and I rolled my window rolled down. I just had to hear what was being said. Sue me, I’m nosey. The first guy had already jumped out of his car and was yelling at the second guy asking what the heck happened. And the second guy answered “that girl smiled at me.” And then he pointed at me.
Wow, that took an unexpected turn, and fast.
As they both turned to look at me, I decided the best course of action was to wave and drive away now that the traffic light had changed. Mature adult or not, my car was not part of the accident and I was not going to have my smile be blamed by someone’s insurance company.
As I passed the accident on my way home from my Taco Bell run, I got the biggest shock of the day. What’s bigger than causing an accident with your smile?! The police officer who showed up on the scene was the same guy who has now been involved in two of my late night Taco Bell runs. Read here and here.
I try not to be a conspiracy theorist, which is hard because I spend a lot of time online, but I swear this has to be the only police officer in my entire city. And why, why, why, does he always seem to find a way to insert himself into my Taco Bell runs?!
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One thought on “Don’t blame my body for your actions…”
The Bell has indeed turned on you. SMH
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