I wrote this post years ago and realized that I am almost always the loser of this game. Lola plays it so well in our new house that I sometimes panic when I can’t find her.
Lola and I have a new game to play. Since she has spent the past five years shadowing me I decided to use her love to make life more interesting. There’s only so much potty monitoring you can handle before you start closing the door on your animal.
I started by walking into a room and yelling out “bye, Lola” at the top of my lungs and then closing the door almost completely. Within seconds the little fur ball would charge through like a hippopotamus and stand at attention looking at me like I was demented.
After doing this in every room of the house I started to get creative. I turned on the light in the spare bathroom and pulled the door almost shut. Then I walked into my bedroom and did the same to the master bathroom. I walked in the master closet, kept the light off and the door shut and called out “bye, Lola” at the top of my lungs.
I hear the Lola hippo bust into the spare bathroom. I wish I could have seen her puzzled face. She races back out and checks the living room. A few seconds later Lola’s in the master bedroom and busting in the door of that bathroom. She is puzzled, and this time I can see her thanks to the crack in the door. I almost ruined the whole game by laughing.
Lola flies out of the room and starts sweeping the house looking for the Mommybeast. As she makes her way back into the bedroom she seems to realize the closet has been overlooked. She barges in to find me.
We had to halt our game here because Lola got smart and wouldn’t let me walk anywhere without being right behind me. Literally right behind me. I could feel her feet hit my legs as I walked.
I gave it a few hours and decide to play again. I set up some rogue traps designed to fool her, then I get into my bathtub, lights off, and I am lying down with the curtain closed.
Ten minutes later and I am really questioning my decision to hide in a tub. I keep calling out to Lola and she keeps checking the bathroom. She even nudged at the curtain but not enough to see that I was lying down. Finally, I got what I had coming to me. Lola bum rushed the tub and jumped, landing her full weight on top of me. Fur went flying, human ribs took a beating and a shower curtain may or may not have needed to be replaced.
But it was all worth it. A few hours later Lola got up and walked away from me in the living room for no reason. She never leaves me, especially since the Daddybeast is not home. So I wander to the back room to see if she’s camped out on the man couch.
I go to our bedroom to see if she’s trying to determine if this is the time she makes that leap onto the bed by herself.
Nope, no Lola.
I wander for a few minutes, trying to decide what she’s up to. I’m envisioning some sort of poop revenge for the game I played- and then I find her. She’s lying on the far side of the guest bedroom, wedged between the wall and bed frame. She’s in a little ball, next to the brown curtains and almost completely unnoticeable. Lola bounces with glee and runs away from me snorting.
There’s a possibility that my dog is too smart and will eventually take over the world.
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