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Lola is on a diet. It’s the first day. Technically, only one meal has been cut down so far.

Lola is acting like I’ve destined her to a life of misery.

I called Lola over to me so I could give her a little belly rub time, I knew I was an asshole for putting her on a diet when I myself am quite chunky. But she’s my baby and I want better for her. As Lola walks over to me, she makes sure to put on her saddest face of tragic backstabbing. Shakespeare would have been so proud of her. Four steps away from me, Lola collapsed on the ground. If that weren’t sad enough, she reached her front paw out to me as if saying, “please help me kind Mommybeast.”

It was ridiculous.

She literally lost a total of 6 pieces of food in her breakfast meal. To prove I’m not exaggerating, she used to eat 2.5 cups of food per day and we would split that into three meals. The vet said we had to shave a total of 1/4 cup from her day. Since she gets fed three times per day, you can imagine how slight the decrease is per meal. I measured, it’s about 18 pieces of food each day. 18 pieces of food that are roughly the size of an M&M.

She’s lying on the floor acting like I am killing her with my unreasonable demands. But she’s now clocking in at 45.5 pounds and two weeks ago she was only 44. Her target weight is 42-44.

There is a possibility she’s going to start a mutiny and steal the Littles’ food.

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Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much