My entire life has been preparing for this moment…

It was mayhem in the kitchen. There was flour, sugar, salt and oil all over. I had the fryer heating up and the batter was being prepared. I tried to control my excitement so that I could properly measure the ingredients, but it was difficult. I spilled milk and cursed myself for making the process even longer when all I wanted to do was eat.

Then the batter was ready.

I walked over the fridge and looked for the target of my nighttime snack. I had an entire drawer of them in my fridge, thanks mostly to a daycare dad who thinks of me in Walmart. Also, friends who are bribing me to keep themselves off the Shank List. Smart bastards.

The Twinkie.

I rolled that Twinkie around in the funnel cake batter and dropped my concoction into the fryer. Then I happy danced so hard that I almost twisted an ankle.

 

It was amazing and made my belly hurt – that’s the sign of a great dessert.

Tonight I’m going to deep fry a Snickers bar. A fun size version. Because after eating that deep-fried Twinkie I’m not feeling so great.

In the interest of preserving some of my years on this earth, I’m heading out to buy salad items and fruit. I figure that should offset some of the fried desserts until I run out of funnel cake batter. By my calculations, I have about 5 nights of batter left.

Pray for me.

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