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Because the alternative to that is just too horrifying to contemplate. If it’s not hallucinations, it must be ghosts and I am not cool with ghosts hanging out in my bedroom. I love watching Ghost Hunters, but I’ll be damned if they’re in my home.

Every night when we go to bed, Lola has this new routine where she stares all around the top of the walls and lunges at things. Things I can’t see. She’s even growled a few times.

Last night was exceptionally bad. She was stressing me out so much that I called the vet to ask if they thought she needed to come in for a check up. They told me she was likely doing it to get attention.

Are you fucking kidding me?!?!?!

I kicked her rear end out of the bed, and the bedroom, and closed the door in her face. She started crying her guts out. After 20 minutes of Lola sobbing I let the little shit back in the room and put her on the bed. I told her to shut it and sleep.

She didn’t lunge at ghosts for the rest of the night. I warned her this morning that one more stunt like that and I’m giving her away to a new family. A family with little kids who will annoy the crap out of her and pull on her nubby.

Now I just need to get through this day without losing it and go to bed directly after dinner.