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A third airplane in two weeks has landed unexpectedly due to a fight over leg room. Let’s all take a moment to think about the fact that there are three people in America who have physically fought someone over leg room on an air plane.

Time for the world to hear the truth.

Start disciplining your kids. Discipline. That doesn’t mean smack them around with a belt or back of the hand. It means teach them that not everything in the world is theirs and that sometimes they will be uncomfortable – that’s just the way life is. People need to start realizing that we as a world are doing something important and everyone should jump on board – I’ll sum it up with a quote from the show Seinfeld.

We are living in a society. We’re supposed to act in a civilized way.

Here’s the final truth, I’ve crafted it with the help of my Creative Cursing book – you’ve been warned.

Stop getting so fucking pissed off that the nut dangler in front of you is reclining the fucking seat they paid good damn money for! I know you paid lots of fucking money too. I hear you, you raging sack sniffer. I also know that if you were feeling even a TINY bit fucking sleepy you’d throw your seat back without giving a shit about the twat twister who’s behind you. But no, you just want to throw a fucking hissy fit because the testicle beater in front of you is fucking sleepy at a different time than you are. Well, you are a raging cooch wad. Buy a first class seat and shut your fucking dildo hole. And if you can’t afford a first class seat then maybe you should not be flying at all, you rectum wipe.

Okay, I got that out of my system. Now that paragraph above is fine knowledge to have. That’s what I do when flying. I get squished in the seat and just let the hatred in my head fly around. The public doesn’t need to know every upset you have in life. Sit down, buckle your fucking seat belt and enjoy the flight we’re all stuck on together.

Or at least shut up about it while you’re in the tin can with the rest of the sardines.

P.S. A few years ago I had an insane urge to kill a motherfucker during a flight and since then I’ve been booking first class seats. It’s worth the price you pay. If not for those seats, I’d be on the no fly list by now. Know your limits people.


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