Dear Lola,
My sister is driving me absolutely insane. We are both adults and I am married with a child. A few times per month I will invite my mom and dad to come have dinner at my house with my husband and daughter. Every now and again I will extend an invite to my sister as well. My sister has started getting upset whenever she is not invited. She says she should be invited every time mom and dad are. The last two times I’ve invited my parents for dinner, she has showed up with them. This is annoying because we do lots of things as a group and there are times I just want to have dinner with my parents so my child can interact with them. My sister has a tendency to dominate the table and not allow my child and parents to chitchat over life’s daily events. My parents have said they understand, but they don’t know how to stop her from coming and they think it’s absurd to have to lie to her when she asks what plans they have for the week. What can I do to resolve this issue?
Sincerely,
Stressed Out Sister
Dear Stressed Out Sister,
I remember when I had to deal with a bunch of annoying siblings. I was a tiny canine, barely able to hold my own head up. The one thing I clearly remember was the absolute chaos and inability to nap without being jolted awake by an inconsiderate littermate. Then one day, a magical human showed up and said she loved each and every one of us and she was so sad she could only pick one to take home.
I snuggled that human with every fiber of my being.
The next thing I knew, I was in possession of a Mommybeast who loved dressing me in costumes and played Seinfeld on a loop. She even bought me a dinosaur costume for those nights we watched Jurassic Park! Despite all of these wonderful things, there was nothing as joyous as being able to take a nap whenever I desired and know that my kibble would be untouched by bothersome siblings.
Have you considered finding someone who is looking to adopt and shoving your sister into their arms?
On the off chance that isn’t possible, you’ll have to deploy the secret spy method of inviting your parents to dinner. First, you’ll need to have a courier deliver a message to their home, being sure to time it out so that once the message is opened your parents will only have enough time to get into their vehicle and drive to the nearest park by the deadline specified. After arriving at that location, a second messenger must hand them an envelope instructing them to abandon their car in the parking lot and proceed on foot to the park restrooms. Your parents will then proceed to the stall specified in the note, where you are laying in wait for them. Bundle the couple into the trunk of your car for the remainder of the drive to your home, being sure to drive carefully to avoid bruising them as much as possible.
You cannot risk them riding in the backseat in case your sister happens to see you all together.
Once at your home, you can profusely apologize for the shenanigans and explain that this was the most suitable method for ensuring a dinner free from uninvited interlopers. I’m sure the excitement with which their granddaughter greets them will make up for the terrible scare you put them through. You may also receive a visit from law enforcement if any park witnesses were troubled by an elderly couple being forced into the trunk of a car.
Needs must when avoiding pushy relatives.
If this isn’t enough to make it clear to your parents that the situation is dire, consider a more direct approach. Tell them that showing up with uninvited guests is inconsiderate and that it is up to them to come without the third wheel. Whether they tell your sister about dinner plans or not is ultimately their decision, but they absolutely do not need to let her into their car. I assume at some point they were in control of your younger selves since you both made it to adulthood. Tell them to dig deep and deploy some of the willpower they had when your sister was begging for candy bars at lunchtime.
Then you need to tackle the velociraptor in your midst.
You obviously have a reasonably decent relationship with your sister if you get together without a wedding or funeral forcing you to play nice. Sit her down and explain that she is more than welcome to invite her parents over for a dinner and leave you off the guest list since you do plenty of family activities together. Reassure her that you will continue to include her more often than not and that this is merely a bonus dinner for the benefit of your Miniature Human. You can also extend an invite for her to come to an activity without your parents in attendance.
If your sister shows up despite all of this, be sure to hand her a list of the nearest restaurants to your home and then shut the door quietly.
♥Lola♥
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Shank You Very Much 