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My nieces are here for a visit and I’ve been lucky enough to get sole custody of them for the past four days – and there have been moments of pure mayhem incited by the greatest Aunt who has ever ruled over small human beings. In the middle of this whirlwind of Lola, Six, Four, and myself, is the poor bedraggled Hubster. He has been a horse, a playground to be climbed on, a fetcher of milk and juice boxes, and the stalwart carriage to carry tired Littles.

Hubster deserves a gold medal for his endeavors.

He will not get one. I can’t risk it going to his head.

This morning was perhaps the greatest morning of all. Six told a funny story and then I followed suit. Then came time for Four to tell her story and she began in a dramatic fashion. Cue the lights, start the low background music, and prepare to be dazzled by this story which I’ve recounted word for word how Four told it.

This is the Butter Story

One day I was very hungry. I wanted to eat something so I opened up the fridge. I opened the lid to the box where the butter lives.

Do you know the box where the butter lives?

{Storyteller waited for my nod of acknowledgement before she continued on}

I opened the box where the butter lives, the front door so I could put my hand in. Then I pulled out a stick of butter. I looked around but I didn’t see anything else in the box where the butter lives.

I was so, so hungry.

I looked for a bagel but didn’t see one. I was so hungry. I looked for an English muffin but I didn’t see one. I was still so hungry. I looked for some toast but I didn’t see one. I was so, so hungry.

So, I opened the butter and took a big bite.

My belly started to feel better so I took another bite. Then do you know what happened?

{Cue increase in music volume and tempo – she actually paused for dramatic effect}

Mommy and Dad walked into the kitchen. They said, “What are you doing?!” I looked at them and told them I was eating butter because I was hungry. Then Daddy started to laugh. Then Mommy started to laugh.

Then they took my butter away.

{I thought she would leave us on a sad note, but the heroine would not be defeated}

I told Mommy and Dad I was so hungry and they made me a bagel.

{Cue satisfied look from storyteller… and then a furrowed brow… then a whisper}

I’m going to eat butter from the box where the butter lives again.


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Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below: