In just a few short weeks, Hubster and I will be celebrating our 13th wedding anniversary. When you add in dating time, I’ve known Hubster for a whopping 17 years!
That’s a lot of years to not kill someone who folds towels wrong.
I admit it’s not the lifetime some of my friends have known their spouses, but in the military lifestyle that number is multiplied by 10. In tortoise years, I’ve been partnered with this weirdo for 170 years.
A really long time to not kill someone who puts spoons in the wrong drawer.
So where am I going with this post? I’m getting there, just be patient. Marriage is about distance, not speed, and I am nothing if not a fat kid who cannot run even if I were being chased. It’s in my best interest not to rush this post and have it used against me in court.
Marriage is like navigating an endless minefield without blowing your foot off.
That’s where I was going with my ramblings! Tonight was my moment to shine. Hubster was eating dinner, when he suddenly let out a stream of curses. Without missing a beat, I pointed out his food was hot. Obviously he had just found that out the hard way. I, being the wonderful wife, filled in the words he wanted to say but couldn’t – due to the searing pain. Then, not two minutes later, a new stream of creative curses came from the Hubster’s mouth.
I may need to get a swear jar, I could make a fortune!
I immediately translated his pain into words and pointed out that Hubster bit his cheek. In case he missed that he had just done that to himself as he tried to stem the bleeding. I continued to eat, happily enjoying the meal which seemed intent on killing Hubster with each bite.
The silence alerted me to the fact that I had blown off both my feet while trying to cross the minefield.
Tomorrow is a new day. I plan on washing towels so that Hubster can fold them incorrectly and I can get the upper hand by huffing and refolding the towels the proper way. That’s the real trick of a long marriage – get the other person to blow off their legs in the minefield and then you’re equal again.
I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet
Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below: