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It is my dream to one day make the journey to the United Kingdom and explore everything I’ve only seen on television. Since most of what I know has been gleaned from 18th century romance settings and the Sherlock Holmes television series, I thought it was time that I learn the basics of today’s UK society – starting with their simplest love.

Nothing is more important to the British people than tea time.

Except tea cakes. And tea sandwiches. Which may actually be what tea time is. Except what do they call it when they drink tea and have nothing to eat?! Is it tea time, or just a cup of tea? Are the tiny cakes required? Can I have a piece of pie instead? Will they throw me out of the restaurant if I ask for a cold glass of Coke Zero with ice?

Wow. This is why the UK is so polite.

They are one question away from completely losing their shit over ordering a beverage! Since I am now moments away from my own meltdown, I turned to Twitter for answers.
You can make this chart big by clicking here.

Tea infographic with ridiculous data that causes more confusion than it does answers.

As per usual, Twitter caused even more confusion and chaos. 

After my Twitter failings, I decided to turn my attention to creating a flow chart. Something easy to use that I could follow when I sat down to order. Thankfully, I had hundreds of Twitter comments to help me sort it out.
You can make this chart big by clicking here.

A Definitive Chart for Navigating Tea Time in the UK - not actually definitive at all and almost guaranteed to cause confusion and embarrassment.

So easy to use.

I’ve changed my mind. I think I’ll visit Italy instead.


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Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below: