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Can you feel that? A slight chill in the air. Can you smell that? Pumpkin. Blech. Can you taste that? Candy corn, chock full of sugar and food coloring. That’s right, it’s finally here!

October has arrived – please roll out the red carpet.

Some would say to roll out the orange carpet, but that color is an assault on the eyes and I refuse to contribute to it – while secretly acknowledging the holiday treats do taste better when tinted orange. 

A image of a menacing pumpkin smiling with the quote 'By the end of autumn, I'll have infiltrated all of your homes.'

Every candy wrapper from here to Mars is now black and orange, transforming the grocery stores into a paradise for those who love this morbid holiday. Fake blood is being sold by the gallon, perfect for setting the scene of death and mayhem on your front porch.

This is the perfect time to commit a murder and get away with it.*

There is also something truly special about the month of October. A little movie you should all know by now. In fact, you should have the lines memorized because it’s been 25 years since the theatrical release. Featuring an amazing cast of heavy Hollywood hitters – this Disney classic reminds me of the time before Disney decided cheesy puff comedy was the only way to handle the terrifying topic of Halloween.

Hocus Pocus, the only Halloween movie you ever need to care about.

Today begins day one of my countdown. I will watch Hocus Pocus a minimum of 31 times this month. I say minimum because last year I watched it more than once each day.

*Please don’t commit murder, it’s not very nice.

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Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below: