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THERE ARE NO JURASSIC PARK 5 SPOILERS IN THIS BLOG POST.

You can call it Jurassic World all you want, but we all know it’s Jurassic Park 5. I swear on my fat kid soul that I shall never eat cake again if I spoil the movie with details in this blog post.

A text box that says 'the sky is blue because staring into a black void would slowly drive us all insane.'

Every Monday I like to post something new as a way to jump-start my week on a good foot. It is now 0345 and I have nothing. My brain is spinning off into 36 different directions and all of them are terrifying in some form. Let’s talk about that, shall we?!

Of the 36 directions my brain is spinning in, 24 of them are dinosaur related. I watched Jurassic Park 5 this weekend and I enjoyed the hell out of it. I cannot tell you anything at all about it, as per our agreement at the start of this blog post, but watching it in IMAX 3D was the very threshold between my brain being completely awed and my brain snapping in half. If they make this into an amusement park attraction, I will wear adult diapers to ride it.

I almost didn’t make it out of the Jurassic Park ride when I was a kid.

That leaves me with 12 other directions of brain zooming after the dinosaurs have all been properly thought about. We can eliminate another 6 easily. Taco Bell cheese, Taco Bell quesadilla, Taco Bell nachos, Taco Bell chipotle chicken griller, Taco Bell beefy burrito, and Taco Bell nacho fries. I am still very upset that nacho fries were only for a limited time and I have to wait for them to come around again this summer. Summer! I need to be bikini ready in the summer and now that isn’t possible because I must consume 1 tonne of nacho fries within 2 months in the hope that it will stem the craving until the next year swings around again.

Can I franchise a Taco Bell and only sell to myself?!

Now there are 37 thought zooming around in my brain. 24 were attributed to dinosaurs, 6 to the mighty cheese waterfalls known as Taco Bell, with a surprise addition of thinking about opening my very own restaurant and eating it all myself. The next brain compartment holds 4 thoughts about Lola. Obviously her double ear infections are taking up space, her cute belly that always needs rubbing, her teeth that stick out like beacons for the Mommybeast to locate, and the nubby tail that wiggles at rapid speeds when she sees me.

Sometimes I think Lola could take flight with her nubby as the propeller.

Great, I’m up to 38 thoughts in the brain now. 24 thoughts of dinosaurs, 7 for Taco Bell, 4 thoughts of Lola and one strange add-on about Lola becoming a helicopter by using her tail. Normally there would be a lot more Lola thoughts, but the dinosaurs are taking up a bunch of space thanks to my 5 movie weekend marathon. So that leaves me with 2 thoughts. One of them is wondering what is for breakfast since I am now going to watch the sun rise without even having gone to bed. The final thought was strictly focused on making sure my math skills were functioning properly while writing this post.

My brain is now overheating and needs to be rebooted.


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Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below: