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Lately I’ve found myself watching a lot of crime shows. We can thank Netflix suggestions because the moment you watch one show, they offer you a thousand other shows that are similar. It’s impossible to walk away! Unfortunately, this means that my dear readers will have to suffer the ponderings of Night Brain.

Welcome to the scary side of my brain.

A teal/green owl that says

Last night my brain became obsessed with knowing if a crime scene expert could get fingerprints from a pie crust. Not from the tin it was baked in, but from an impression in the actual dough that is now fully baked. Suppose this pie was at the scene of a murder and the neighbors tell police that the victim would have never baked her own pie. That means the murderer must have taken the time to bake a pie – maybe they had low blood sugar from all the stress and anxiety of doing their dastardly deeds.

Someone get the fingerprint kit, we’ve got a viable pie crust to test!

However, I think it would be near to impossible to get fingerprints from a dough crust that had been baked. The dough fluffs up and changes as it bakes – surely that would render any attempt at using the fingerprint useless. I imagine it would be impossible to determine what the original fingerprint looked like. Which is great news for any would be murderers who get a craving for some peach cobbler during a night of mayhem.

It could also be a handy murder weapon in the event the television show writers have run out of options. A bit of poison would take care of the target and the police would have no way to trace the baker.

On the other side of that argument, I’ve seen these crime scene experts take the tiniest piece of data and come to a shocking conclusion that the bad guy was the person we all least suspected. I imagine if they know they exact ingredients in the pie, they could calculate how much the dough has expanded. Then they could run the information into a computer which would spit out a shockingly accurate representation of the original fingerprint that was pressed into raw pie dough.

Your delicious snack preferences have led you to a life of prison.

I bet you’re all wondering why Night Brain pondered this. That’s where you realize you have been on a useless ride for hours – Night Brain doesn’t care about the usefulness or accuracy of its ponderings. Night Brain just ponders for the sheer joy of doing so.

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