Today, the heavens smiled down upon me. The sun beamed, a single ray upon my face, and no one else’s. The birds chirped a delightful song for my ears, while the squirrels swept my floors.
One of my lifelong dreams has finally been realized.
I no longer have to place an order at the Taco Bell drive thru.
Tonight, I pulled up to the window, and was greeted by name. They recognized my car! Then the nachos that I special order, were entered on the electronic ordering screen, without my needing to give any input. Lola’s cheese cups were added next. As I sat in wonder, the Taco Bell wizards dazzled me with their skills. No words required.
Well, some words required.
I always get the same nachos and Lola’s cheese cup, but then I get a second item from the dollar menu in addition to them. That item changes constantly, depending on how bad the blog has been treating me. On a regular night I get the beefy mini quesadilla with its tangy sauce and delightful size. It’s not too big and not too small – maybe it was invented by Goldilocks. On a bad night I need a Frito burrito. Whoever invented chips in a burrito is the best person in the world. On a seriously awful night, the stacker must be ordered. Nacho cheese, beefy deliciousness, full size tortilla – it’s so big that I have to downgrade my nacho size. Though sometimes I don’t.
Those are the nights that the other humans around me are lucky to live through.
Now I just need to decide how to fill up those moments that were previously used for ordering. Right now I’m considering using the workers as practice for my X Factor auditions. I’ll sing terribly off-key for them and then take in their critique with wounded eyes. They’ll inevitably have to console me with a dessert item in my bag. Free dessert.
My life is complete.
I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet
Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below: