Sometimes I find myself watching an excessive amount of television. Instead of being productive during the day, I’ll binge watch Netflix until my legs practically atrophy from disuse. Sadly, I only really notice the problem when I look back on social media posts and realize they were all based on characters from the screen.
These are tales of those times.
Yep, you only ever hear this on the Home and Garden channel. I walked into a home improvement store to look at a tile backsplash and actually tried this line out on the salesperson who was helping me. I’ve never been so satisfied in my life. Her mouth was flapping but no sound came out. She took a few deep breaths and I could almost see the wheels turning in her head to come up with a response. I think she wanted to laugh but couldn’t tell her brain to do it.
It was an impressive feat considering I wasn’t anywhere near herringbone or hexagonal tile displays!
This is what happens when you binge watch a show about serial killers. Sometimes you end up wanting to be like them. Throwing parties I mean, not killing people.
Now, I’m going to go outside for a walk because there is a distinct ass print on my couch and I’m worried my knees will forget how to operate if I’m not careful about all this TV watching I’ve been doing.
I also ran out of episodes to watch.
Bonus points to anyone who knows why I titled my blog post this way. Hint, it has to do with Seinfeld, the best show that ever existed. Leave a comment!
I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet
Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much