You may need to refresh yourself with this post before you continue reading. Or not. Some like to live in a foggy world where nothing seems to make sense. For those of you who have been following my taste testing series, prepare yourselves for more disappointment than you ever thought you’d get dealt in your lifetime.
I’ve carefully chosen several American products to test out against the British version. These companies are American in origin and icons to many people. So realistically, the American version sold here in the U.S. should be the most delicious – certainly better than the version we send overseas.
Well, reality is dead and the U.S. is losing these taste tests in rapid succession. Rice Krispies Treats, Oreos, and Pringles – all won by the Brits. We Americans have only managed to secure one win, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.
Or so I thought…
I sent four boxes of the British Kraft Mac and cheese to some of my most avid readers. I asked them to do their own taste test and report their findings back to me.
Family #1 had an adult and three children under 10. The three children loved the British version and would gladly eat it every night. The adult could definitely tell the difference in taste and preferred the British version to the American.
Family #2 was an adult. She said the British version was burnt and gritty. I know exactly how she feels. That burnt taste is still with me and it’s been several weeks since I ate it.
Family #3 was an adult and a child under 5. The adult gave it a giant thumbs down and used the wonderfully fucked up description below to describe the British flavor to her American palate:
“Did you notice a funny/nasty smell after you added the cheese? Because I did and when I ate it 😦 was my reaction. The cheese was awful! Like they used the cheese from some old man’s butt crack!”
That’s where I thought we Americans were going to pull enough votes to win. Until her kid added his commentary on the British delight…
Small child studies the bowl of UK Kraft macaroni intently.
“What the heck is this and why is Mom staring at me and taking pictures as I eat?! Is it poisoned with a vegetable?!”
Small child appears to give himself a pep talk as he lifts the spoon.
“Here we go, don’t die buddy. I’m sure mom wouldn’t lace my food with anything.”
Small child swallows the macaroni and his face lifts into a smile – two small thumbs shoot up into the air.
“Hot damn those Brits sure know how to make a mac and cheese. Good thing I put some old man butt crack seasoning on mom’s plate. Now she’ll stay the hell away from my mac & cheese from Britain.”
Family #4 was an adult. She was actually a family member and these were her words:
“It seems a bit more creamy than our standard blue box and I think the cheese flavor is a little sharper. Tell the Brits they can relax.”
Well fuck it all! If you can’t count on family to help you conquer the British, who can you count on?!
The final result was tallied and adults voted evenly at 2-2. It was entirely up to the children to be the tie breaker in the taste test. The British took the win 4-0 in the children’s division.
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