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I recently taught Lola a new game to play. Since she has spent the past three years shadowing me, I decided to make it interesting. I mean, there’s only so much potty monitoring you can handle before you start closing the door on your fur baby.

The game started with me walking into a room and yelling out “bye, Lola” at the top of my lungs and then closing the door almost completely. Within seconds the little fur ball would charge through like a hippopotamus and stand at attention looking at me like I was demented.

After doing this in every room of the house, I started to get creative. I turned on the light in the spare bathroom and pulled the door almost shut. Then I walked into my bedroom and did the same to the master bathroom. I walked into the master closet, kept the light off and then shut the door. I called out “bye, Lola” at the top of my lungs.

I hear the Lola hippo bust into the spare bathroom. I wish I could have seen her puzzled face. She races back out, tiny feet stomping furiously around the house. She checks the living room. A few seconds later Lola’s in the master bedroom and busting in the door of the bathroom.

Lola’s face of bewilderment almost made me laugh and give up my hiding spot.

Lola flies out of the room and starts sweeping the house looking for me. As she makes her way back into the bedroom, she seems to realize the closet has been overlooked. She barges in to find me.

We had to halt our game here because Lola got smart and wouldn’t let me walk anywhere without being right behind me. I could feel her feet hit my legs as I walked.

A few hours later, I decide to play again.

I set up some rogue traps designed to fool Lola. Then I get into my bathtub, lights off, and am lying down with the curtain closed. Ten minutes go by and I am really questioning the decision to hide in a bathtub. I keep calling out to Lola and she keeps checking the bathroom. She even nudged at the curtain but not enough to see that I was lying down.

I got what I had coming to me.

Lola bum rushed the tub and jumped her full weight on top of me. Fur went flying, human ribs took a beating, and a shower curtain may or may not have needed to be replaced. But it was all worth it.

A few hours later Lola got up and walked away from me in the living room for no reason. She never leaves me, especially since the Daddybeast was not home. I wander to the back room to see if she’s camped out on the man couch.

Nope.

I go to our bedroom to see if she’s trying to determine if this is the time she makes that leap onto the bed by herself.

No Lola.

I search for a few minutes, trying to decide what she’s up to. I’m envisioning some sort of poop revenge for the game I played.

I find her.

She’s lying on the far side of the guest bedroom, wedged between the wall and bed frame.  She’s in a little ball, next to the brown curtains and almost completely unnoticeable. As I spot her, she bounces with glee and runs away from me snorting.

There’s a possibility that my dog is too smart and will eventually take over the world.

Lola the English Bulldog is sitting down, looking directly into the camera. Her ears are perked up, and her bottom teeth jut forward so that you can see them when her mouth is closed. She has brindle and white fur, with one eye and ear patched with color.


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Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much